Redemption
by Veruca Ing
Summary: Three years after the war, Celena Schezar desperately wishes to know where she was all this time. In acts of insanity and a quest of self-discovery, she will find answers better left forgotten.
1. The Fool

Asturia - chapter I *The Fool*  
  
- "Happy birthday, Celena," rang Allen as he walked in her room.  
  
She did not turn her head to face him, the rising mountains were much more interesting. The mad peaks above pierced the fluffy clouds covering the sky. In a way, it was how she felt. Something deep inside of her splintered her thoughts and soul. She yearned to speak of it for so long, but her brother would have none of it. No matter how much she pleaded, he would dismiss her in a gentle casual way.  
  
Allen sat down in front of Celena, staring into her eyes. The window divan's pillows were so comfortable beneath him, then again, it was of no importance at the moment. His sister did not seem to be home. Wherever she was, she could be sure that it would be nothing he could discuss of. Placing a soft hand on her shoulder, her blue eyes slowly met with the same one's as her brother's.  
  
- "It's strange! I never seem to remember this date, but I should. I guess that I've been lost for so long, I forget," she voiced in sorrow.  
  
- "Now we'll have none of that," he soothed retreating his hand. "You've managed to pick up some pieces in the past three years. Take a look!" He held out a small white box laced with a thin golden ribbon.  
  
Celena traced the gift with her fingers and eyes, wondering if it should be opened or not. It could hold another small piece of her blank past. Everyday she would find something warm and comforting, but in her dreams, everything was crimson and cold. a feeling she never knew until the moon rose above the western mountains. Every night, they would come and haunt her. Soon, nights became days and she would dream even when she was awake. Those days eventually stretched to months and they prolonged to years. Celena simply couldn't shake them off, for she knew that they were a part of her life that was forbidden.  
  
- "Are you going to open it?" Allen brought her back.  
  
She glanced back up and took in a deep breath. Carefully, she pulled on the bow and hesitated before attempting to open the box.  
  
- "What's wrong?" His eyes crossed in fear of questioning.  
  
- "I feel like I'm dreaming," she answered in a shaky whisper. - "Dreams can be beautiful."  
  
- "Not this one."  
  
Allen tilted his head down in slight defeat. He hoped that the past she kept seeing would eventually fade and become nothing but a distant myth. Unfortunately, the evil lurking inside of her yearned to be unleashed, stronger than ever. If he could only chase away all of her insecurities, she might never ever see again the red rain.  
  
Celena released the small golden lock and opened the box with a tiny screech in the hinges. Allen waited to see her reaction, but was disappointed to see her eyes keep their empty state. She was not breath- taken nor ecstatic, the feelings he hoped he could arise on this special day of hers. Maybe it was because his sister simply didn't understand the value.  
  
She placed the box on the pillow in front of her, only staring at it in hollowness, not even daring to touch it. The silver comb engraved with red roses and dangling pearls did not strike the best side of her.  
  
Not being able to stand the unholy silence between them, Allen decided to inform her upon who possessed the piece of jewelry. "It belongs to..."  
  
- "Mother, yes I know," her gentle voice solemn.  
  
The knight held his breath for a moment. She always wanted to know more about their mother and father, and another memory of her is exactly what he gave her. Instead she seemed to dislike and not even care about their parents anymore.  
  
Allen reached into the box and drew out the delicate ornament. Slowly leaning towards her to avoid any sudden movements, he dug the comb in her thick silver locks, spreading the pearls along the lines of her shoulder length hair. He couldn't help but bite his lower-lip as the sight of her brought back so many memories.  
  
- "You have her eyes and hair. Such a striking resemblance."  
  
- "I wouldn't know," her answer so harsh.  
  
- "Try!"  
  
- "She was. warm, welcoming, a blanket of joy you could warp around yourself. I can't even remember her voice."  
  
The uneasy silence lurked once more. Poor Celena couldn't stop reminding herself of the crimson sky. She knew it was screaming to her in the back of her mind. - "Brother, who am I? You show me so many things, but never reveal where my presence had been lost all these years. I must've of been something so horrible for you to keep all of this secrecy. What did I become?"  
  
- "It is of no importance," he retorted plastering a fake smile. "What's important is that you're safe and we are family."  
  
- "Please tell me who I am. I'm not that little girl who disappeared to a dank dungeon with only a beastman to care for me. I somehow lost all of my innocence. I don't know how, but it's a feeling that will never cease."  
  
- "You could never lose your innocence, Celena. Even if you tried, you would be unsuccessful." Allen stood up and began pacing towards the door. "If you will excuse me, Gaddes and I have affairs to discuss of."  
  
Just as her brother turned the silver knob, her delicate voice rang never before said words that would hurt his heart. "I will find out the answer to my question. If you won't tell me, than I will find some other way."  
  
The knight blinked his eyes tightly at her sudden statement. "I will be in the storage room if you'll be in need of assistance. I hope you like your gift."  
  
Celena didn't answer back, agonizing her brother. Her aqua eyes traveled back to the window, gazing at the mountains as the door clicked shut. Far away, in the distance of it all, a strong pillar of light dashed to the ground to what could possibly of been Fanelia's forests or so.  
  
Pillar of light...  
  
Another key that opened a red door.  
  
The woman tumbled off the divan moaning and crying as her hands clasped around her locks. She could see more now. There was a man with silver hair wearing a red and black uniform. He gave out a haunting laugh of pure evil and clouded her mind with smoke.  
  
Her chin shot up as her throat began to burn and the pain of her bones shifting increased. Her eyes slowly became a fiery red. In a moment's flash, she collapsed to the ground feeling everything back in its place. Her blue orbs began to well up in confusion and despair.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Allen walked through the corridors of Palas' castle keeping his head low. His paces were mechanical, leaving gently clicks on the marble floor.  
  
Determination.  
  
Persistence.  
  
Two things that are very strong in his family's blood. His father wouldn't stop roaming the Mystic Valley until the secret of Atlantis was unveiled to him. His mother might not of been strong enough to overcome the terrible illness placed upon her, but her will was there and she did everything in her power to see her children grow up happily in her arms.  
  
Now it was Celena's turn. He knew this heavy secret could not be buried forever. His sister will find out sooner or later, wanting it to be much later in the future when she isn't so delicate. If she found out now, her innocence would be lost forever and she would shatter.  
  
He told her so many lies about her purity, wanting her to keep it and treasure it. He wasn't one to lie, but it was the only thing that kept the beast inside all this time.  
  
A shoulder grazed across his arm as his paces jerked to a stop. Long golden hair wisped around framing a pair of perfect blue eyes. The woman seemed so frail and virtuous, but this knight knew that there was more to this beauty than a ravishing complexion inside.  
  
- "Allen," her soft voice summoned.  
  
- "Princess Millerna," he bowed in grace.  
  
- "How is she?"  
  
The princess cared so much for Celena, like a sister. Often, she would visit her in her room and have a friendly talk over tea. There was so much pain in Celena's eyes and Millerna wanted to scream the truth so she would no longer question herself. but the reality was that there would be even more strain if the tortured miss ever found out.  
  
- "Her patience is growing weary. I can no longer speak with her without seeing a clouded mind storming her head."  
  
- "Would you like me to talk to her?"  
  
- "Perhaps. I thank you dearly, princess. Your care for my family is more than any one else can offer."  
  
Millerna couldn't help but stare down at her black suede shoes. Allen took her gloved hand ever so gently and placed a soft kiss on it. He regained his proud posture and continued his journey towards the room where Scherazade and other sleeping guymelefs rested.  
  
The princess was left alone in the hall beside a window beaming in rays of sunlight. Her eyes wandered to the outside of Asturia and caught a sight quite remarkable. In the land of Fanelia , a strange blue column of light reached for the Mystic Moon. She held her breath in amazement as a realization long forgotten in a distant past.  
  
- "Hitomi," she gently whispered.  
  
The beam quickly vanished leaving nothing but a shiny trace of glittering stars. Was everything coming to an end again? Last time Hitomi came, it was the dawn of the Great Gaean War, a time of absolute slaughter and death. Millerna wanted nothing more than to see her friend again, but the thought of war was more than she could bear. What if this arrival will shake up the monster within Celena? No, this couldn't happen! Not again. not ever!  
  
She drew away her thoughts and shook her head to clear the cobwebs. The princess recovered her focus and made her way to Celena's bedroom.  
  
- "Excuse me miss," Millerna called to a maid along her way.  
  
- "Yes princess," the woman replied politely.  
  
- "Could you be so kind and prepare some Purple Yin tea for two? I will be in the room of Lady Celena."  
  
- "Of course my lady," and the maid quickly dashed to fetch the drink.  
  
In only a few more steps, she would face the door of Allen's sister. Was it really the right time to speak to her? Most of the time after she spoke with Allen, Celena would feel uncomfortable to speak of anything. If only they could truly be brother and sister. It was that way for several months after the war. but then came the dreams and constant confused glares.  
  
While fidgeting with her fingers, Millerna took the stand of visiting Celena and treat her, as always, as a sister you could speak with. She held her hand in a fist ready to knock on the wooden door.  
  
Sobbing and crying!  
  
Celena was in pain.  
  
Millerna took no hesitation in immediately breaking into the room.  
  
Celena lay on the floor, clutching at her white gown in terror. She rocked herself back and forth in delirium while her wide-open eyes cried a river of salty tears. She was going insane. screaming out of her mind. - "SOMEBODY, I NEED HELP!" The princess screamed racing to the girl's side. A page instantly appeared at the doorframe. "Get me some cold water and some cloths."  
  
- "Yes princess," and he disappeared.  
  
Millerna kneeled down and wrapped her arms around the young miss. She was shivering, caught in a strong tremor. The princess held the woman in a strong hug to calm her down, but all that Allen's poor little sister would see was fire.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
- "You're normally so punctual," Gaddes mocked leaning on the wall.  
  
- "I got held up."  
  
Allen closed the door behind his entrance as softly as possible to avoid any attention to the large room. The knight took one long survey of Scherazade. It's been a while since he stepped in.  
  
- "What happened this time?" came back Gaddes with a serious face.  
  
Over the years, the two men became very close friends and could share their thoughts with each other without being scared of the other's response. It was times like these that Allen needed to talk to him the most, for his second in command was one of the very few people who knew the truth about Celena.  
  
Allen leaned on the wall next to his friend  
  
- "I can't keep this up anymore," the knight finally spoke.  
  
- "Hmm. it does take up a lot of energy around her. I mean, I don't really spend time with her, but you always seem so drained."  
  
- "Why did it have to be her?" his voice soared with sorrow.  
  
- "Huh?!"  
  
- "Why couldn't it be someone else's sister?"  
  
- "You don't really mean that."  
  
- "Hmm. you seem to know me too well. I just wished that it never happened at all. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through what we have to." - "I really think that it's time you should tell her. No one can keep this charade forever. It's simple human nature."  
  
- "Don't you dare say a word to her," Allen's voice was a little frustrated. He inhaled a deep breath and calmed his heartbeat. "Celena never finds out. That's the way it's gonna be."  
  
- "In the end the only person you're hurting is your sister. Don't worry, I would never tell her. To say the truth would be to hurt her. and that's your job, no one else's."  
  
Allen was taken back by his partner's words. Were they the one's of a wise friend, or a man who has see too many battles? Whatever the answer was, Gaddes was right. He was never one to lie about what should be done, even if it did sound cruel on the rough surface. Celena had every right to know from his own words.  
  
Gaddes got off the wall and started for the door calmly. "When you make up your mind and you're more appeased, I'll be around. See ya later!" and the door closed leaving Allen with his thoughts.  
  
After two years of absolute suffering, was it worth telling his sister, his anchor to the world?  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Millerna managed to calm down her friend. Celena lay on her bed with a cold wet cloth bandaged over her forehead. The princess sat down holding on tightly to the girl's hand and checking her pulse. It slowed down after its frantic banging in the tortured miss' chest. It was beating so hard and fast, Millerna was surprise it didn't kill Allen's sister right there. Just the thought of that strong pounding beating you down was enough to make someone feel just the same.  
  
With wide open eyes, Celena squeezed tightly on Millerna's hand, slowly gasping in deep breaths of air and exhaling them mechanically. It was beginning to get to her. Now it wasn't just killing her from the inside, but from the outside as well. It took over her dreams and now it was in her heart, a source of life.  
  
Her blue orbs wandered towards the window, painting the picture of a setting sun upon large hills and mountains. It was a stunning view! A small red bird chirped a beautiful tune, almost praying for Celena to go outside and see what he had to show.  
  
- "Good, your pulse slowed down. I don't even know how you managed to stay conscious through that."  
  
- "My heart. it hurts. I can't feel it pulsate. only tighten." - "The feeling will pass, you just need to rest," assured the healer.  
  
- "No, I can't. I have to go outside," urged Celena.  
  
- "You can't, you're not stable enough. Three steps and you'll faint."  
  
- "Please, Millerna," Celena pleaded in a weak voice. She was beginning to lose all of her strength, which made her wonder why her will commanded her to see that bird. that simple red bird just perched on a thin branch.  
  
Princess Millerna bit the bottom of her lip as she pondered about the situation. In her state, it was for sure that she wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe the poor miss caught a fever of some sort. The conclusion was impossible, for she was more cold than warm.  
  
Her gaze turned to the page next to her, "Go in the armory and get me a staff."  
  
As the page ran off, Celena couldn't help but let out a small, faint smile, "Thank you!"  
  
The garden outside was absolutely blooming with nightly beauty. The Mystic Moon shone breathtakingly with its partner in the starry black sky. The night was Celena's time of release. She could almost feel as if her soul would just lift up and dance around the clouds and stars. It was her bliss. A moment of pure happiness that made her forget about her dreads, even if it would only last for a second, it felt like an eternity.  
  
Princess Millerna held an arm around her waist, acting as a support. The staff wasn't enough. It wasn't a problem though, for Celena was light as a feather. In a way, Millerna understood why her friend needed to get out at night. The explanation was never given, but the glint that came in Celena's eyes answered everything.  
  
Bending down, Allen's little sister kneeled down beside a large bush of white flowers. They're scent was simply breathtaking and sweet. The little red bird she had seen earlier came fluttering down and perched on a branch that curved a bit under his weight. He was quiet and stared at Celena with a tilted head, observing her in no reason or knowledge.  
  
She stared back and a small smile came across her face, a sly one. Without a moment's notice, the back of her hand slapped against the bird's back, sending it flying to the wall.  
  
- "Ha ha ha ha ha," her voice rang in satisfaction under her breath.  
  
Princess Millerna backed away, not being entirely sure of what was taking place.  
  
Celena's body began to shift and the pain of a racing heart came back to her. Her hands clutched at the her dress and the ground, letting out the pain. Soon, her cries were replaced by a haunting laugh of pure evil in which Millerna learned to fear.  
  
- "Celena?" the princess reached out hoping that it was all just a dream.  
  
- "Celena's gone," a calm male voice came out of her.  
  
- "No, no it can't be," she paced back slowly barely feeling her legs.  
  
- "Oh but it is."  
  
The man turned around fiercely and pinned her against the wall forcefully. She tried to scream, but her throat was too dry and couldn't even let out a small scream of help. Her large blue eyes seemed to pop out of their sockets in horror as one of the most ruthless men held her firmly... Dilandau Albatou.  
  
- "It's been a while. I forgot what it was like outside of some woman's conscious. Doesn't matter anymore though because this is going to be so much fun."  
  
- "HELP!" the princess managed to scream, but her gentle face was met with the man's tight fist. Her right cheek went all red and stung with agony.  
  
- "If you're hoping that little Celena will come back, don't count on it. She's gone. She was too weak to stand up against me... and those who are weak die and perish. Ha ha!" he stated stroking his cheek.  
  
There was no scar! It was gone! His face was now clear from the cut Van had left a long time ago. It seems as if Celena gave him a gift of apology for locking him up for so long, even though it would never be her intentions.  
  
- "I just wish Van was here. Then this would be the perfect welcome back party."  
  
He couldn't hold it, the memories were coming back to him, spinning his head in thousands of different directions. They were too strong. Flash! A child playing in the fields with her brother. A young beautiful woman sitting by a window. Flash!  
  
- "AAAAAAH! GO AWAY!" he screamed holding his head and swaying around. He seemed like a mad man, facing his trauma till what could be the end of his sanity.  
  
The little girl wouldn't leave him alone, she wouldn't let the beast win. Dilandau fell to his knees, losing all of the strength he possessed. The fire in his red eyes was slowly washed out and the blue ocean lapped over the flames.  
  
Where was she? What just happened? Once again, her mind was pulled back to the darkness that surrounded her for so many years. The world was blank once again. Princess Millerna was leaning deep into the wall with open eyes of unforgettable fear. It was the first sight Celena saw when her eyes opened.  
  
- "Princess Millerna?" asked the youngest one.  
  
The woman of royalty could not answer. Her state of shock was too overwhelming and invading. All that escaped her mouth were the enormous gasps of air that her lungs desperately needed. Celena quickly scurried on her knees to the fountain beside, hoping that some cool water might release the other from her trauma.  
  
What had she become? Only something so terrible and chaotic could've frozen the princess in such a matter. Celena must of been something so evil and cruel to of caused so much fear in one's heart. She had to know. This was no longer just a question that consumed her, but an obsession that was deadly and dreadful to others.  
  
Kneeling over the edge of the fountain, Celena caught a glimpse of her reflection. The ripples blurred a bit her image, but something was obviously wrong. She turned her head sideways and noticed a strange mark along the side of her cheek. A scar! There was scar that scrapped the side of her delicate face. A hand ran along the side of it, feeling the surface of the healed wound. It vanished! As soon as the tip of her fingers left contact, the scar dissolved away until nothing could be noticed.  
  
- "Murderer!"  
  
- "Killer!"  
  
Two voices screamed in her mind, but only those two words. The miss fell back on the ground, taken back and shocked by a feeling lurking inside of her... bloody hands. 


	2. The Moon

Author's note: I had a friend who was suppose to write a story about Van and Hitomi that would go with Redemption, but she just decided not to. So don't ask me about what's going to happen between those two lovers and to write more about them. This story is really about Celena and Dilandau.  
  
Asturia - chapter II *The Moon*  
  
- "Lady Celena hasn't been out of her room for two days and sir Allen is growing weary," whispered a page in the dinning hall.  
  
- "Also, Princess Millerna has been restless all night. She didn't close her eyes once, only continually read her diaries of the Great Gaean War," replied a maid.  
  
- "It is odd! They dare not speak or remind themselves of such events... especially near Lady Celena. A simple slip of those days could bring upon great consequences to the one who spoke of it."  
  
- "Here he comes," warned the young girl.  
  
Allen was not pleased with all of the rumours that have been spreading around the castle since the night of shock. Everywhere he turned, whispers followed, but they would die at the sound of his footsteps. Princess Millerna had told him about what happened in the garden and it could not be pushed away. The matter was serious and triggered the most distress and worry in his mind. Losing his sister once again was not something he could bear. He couldn't be alone, not again.  
  
The page exited the room with a parchment under his arm and the girl continued to dust the table and chairs with an old rag.  
  
True, his sister hadn't left her room since she was brought there that night. No food nor water entered the secrecy of her sanctuary. No person nor service received an answer when a knock was placed upon her door. It was dead silence, as if no one was there. Some even began to doubt the idea that Celena was even in the kingdom, but Allen knew that her questions were still unanswered and she wouldn't leave until he spoke of them.  
  
He had tried several times to speak with his sister, but there was nothing but tranquillity on the other side. Even if it sounded peaceful, Allen had a sensation that his sister was not consciously there, that she could hear and see everything, but not understand it. Like a child set on unknown streets and expected to survive there.  
  
Talking to her was the only way he could reach peace of mind. He had to speak to her, but to answer her questions were another matter. He wasn't sure what to do, for the first time in his life, he didn't know which path to follow.  
  
His steps lead him to an enormous room with nothing but chairs, small wooden tables and a fireplace.  
  
- "What do you pull out of all of this?" came a voice.  
  
- "I heard that Lady Celena was a murdered in the Great Gaean War. Somehow, sorcerers used their hypnotic powers to make her forget. That night, she was getting flashbacks from all the sins she had done ," replied the voice an old woman.  
  
- "How dare you accuse my sister of such barbaric assumptions," Allen's voice rang angrily as he paced around the corner.  
  
- "Sir... I... it isn't..."  
  
- "QUIET!" his yell was deafening.  
  
The two maids were frozen. They knew that holding their tongue was the best thing they could do at the moment. Holding their words from the beginning wouldn't of even brought them in this mess.  
  
Allen Schezar was always one to be polite to women and treat them with much respect, even though sometimes it would turn out to be his flirtatious ways... but he was never one to raise his voice to a miss, even if she had insulted him. On the other hand, it seems as if word of his sister brought forth the anger that he often holds back.  
  
- "You're words have every importance to me. You insult my family, then you call me an affront. She IS NOT A KILLER!"  
  
The two women stepped back a bit at his harsh tone.  
  
- "I will not allow this to continue to spread in these walls. Whatever crimes she has done in her past are mine as well, but you're theories have gone too far. If my ear is to catch either of you once more, you will be out on the streets so quickly that you will not even have enough time to beg her majesty to keep you."  
  
Allen suddenly realized his actions and the frown his face beared uncramped. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so..." he couldn't finish his sentence. He was too ashamed of himself.  
  
Whirling around on his heals, his eyes travelled up and met the soft face of Princess Millerna, who stood there in shock.  
  
- "Princess..."  
  
But she didn't answer, she only dashed away, holding the front end of her dress with her hands to prevent tripping over. Allen couldn't let her go with such terrible ideas of him in her head. His pace followed her, going faster and faster. A hand reached out and he twirled her around not letting go of her arm.  
  
- "Allen," she began pulling herself away from him. "Of all the things I thought you wouldn't dare to do... I was originally only scared of Celena and what she might become, but now I'm more afraid of what she's doing to you."  
  
His head dropped as he could feel his dignity being stripped away.  
  
- "I don't know what's happening, but everyday you become harsher and colder. I don't know what to think of you anymore. This secret is now running your life and it is obviously something that can not be left. You don't think before acting or speaking and you begin to forget how everything was before she began to lose control. You're beginning to scare me."  
  
He was scaring her! It was as if a huge rock had hit him and his life had ended right there.  
  
- "I'm sorry!"  
  
- "Sorry is not always enough. I heard what you said: Whatever crimes she has done in her past are mine as well! I believe it is time that you let her know what the both of you have been up to."  
  
- "I can't! She won't be able to take it. Her innocence will be lost..."  
  
- "She knows, Allen."  
  
His breath was held.  
  
- "She knows about her purity. She looks at her hands as if they are tainted with blood. She will soon find out, I can guarantee it... but I believe that she should find out from you, not a dream."  
  
- "Now is not the time."  
  
- "Then when will the time come? When she has lost her sanity? When she loses control of herself and possibly leave us forever?"  
  
Allen froze at the realization that he could lose her. He had thought about it, but never to the point where it truly hit him. He was going to lose her, and it was fact.  
  
- "I can't let that happen. I hate to bring pressure upon people, but the situation is critical. If you won't tell her by night fall, then by Gaea I will."  
  
- "Tomorrow night," he urged.  
  
- "What?"  
  
- "Tonight is the secret arrival of Van and Hitomi, I don't want her to be guilty for what she has done around them. Tomorrow will be the right time."  
  
- "All right, tomorrow... but how do you intend to bring your sister outside of her room?"  
  
- "I'm not sure," he answered bringing down his head.  
  
* * * *  
  
It was blank, absolutely everything. Seeing they're shapes meant nothing to her. In a way they weren't even there. The table, the bed, the chairs... none of it was real. If real was something you could see, touch and smell... then even a vivid dream can be real when you're in the deepest of sleeps. So many things she once used everyday, became distant memories standing before her.  
  
Listen, listen, listen...  
  
The light quill pen fell to the ground with less grace than a normal feather. The ink inside the stem leaked out onto the wooden floor, forming a black puddle. As the last drops slowly dripped out, the ink soaked into the white feather, forever tainting it.  
  
Celena crouched down to her knees and placed the ink well on the floor. Her delicate fingers picked up the quill and smoothed out the excess liquid. It flowed ever so slowly against the palm of her hand and onto her wrist. The small black river seemed to captivate her so easily, but she found no sense in it. The river simply continued to stream down her arm as she picked up the two small writing objects and stood up to where she had left off.  
  
Listen, listen, listen...  
  
Taking a slight step back, Celena glanced around her, absorbing for the first time her surroundings. None of her furniture had been moved, except for the wooden chair that locked her door. The afternoon sun shone faintly through the light purple curtains cloaking the room into darkness.  
  
The walls, now consumed with black ink, read the word listen a thousand times. Some of the letters bled the blackness and it would flow until the floor was in its reach. Even though some words were smudged or leaked, the message was still clear.  
  
Celena stepped forward once more.  
  
Listen, listen, listen...  
  
The corset holding her waist did not seem to hug her curves as much as before. After spending two days without food or water, except for the cold Purple Yin tea Princess Millerna had left days ago, her stomach starved and hungered for anything Celena could stuff down her throat, but the confused mind overpowered the human cravings by far.  
  
The ink well ran empty, not allowing Celena to write over the left free space. Her blistered and tired hands dropped the well and feather as her body slid down to the floor on an empty space on the wall. The lack of sleep and food she suffered was rendering her weak, and if she wouldn't listen to her body. The confusion was going to kill her.  
  
Her open eyes travelled up the wall on the other side of the room. By now, the ink should be dry, but it did the most peculiar things. The words began to gather together, circling around and mixing into each other like a whirlpool. The spinning pattern began to dizzy her. Slowly, the black spot lost its round shape and lengthened.  
  
A feather, it was drawing a feather. A black one.  
  
The shape slowly drifted down the flat surface, as if someone in the picture dropped it. A soft whistled tune followed.  
  
- "What do you want?" she asked calmly in barely a whisper.  
  
The melody did not desist, nor did it grow louder. Celena slightly turned her head and focussed her best on the shadow in the corner near the window.  
  
- "I... I know you," the miss voiced a little louder.  
  
The whistling kept on singing as the stranger turned his head. The last note faded out as it was cut by a deep and wise voice. "What are you listening for, Celena?"  
  
- "A click... a voice... a word of the past. I'm listening and waiting for the moment where everything will make sense."  
  
- "Everyone in this world waits for that moment, but to some it isn't as urgent as your cry."  
  
- "You're a part of it, aren't you?" she suddenly realized.  
  
- "More than you could possibly know."  
  
He stepped out of his corner and paced to an area where the faint sun managed to reveal his face. A pair of thoughtful mud red orbs absorbed her frail features as he kneeled down to her eye-level. A strong hand softly stroke the side of her cheek. "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry for what they've done to you."  
  
- "The only reason why someone like you would be in here is to tell me something. What do you have to say?" she questioned brushing away his hand.  
  
- "I have nothing to say... only something to show you."  
  
His name, it somehow rang in her mind. She knew him, but from where was unknown. Somehow, his identity wasn't left faceless. "Lord Folken."  
  
Celena closed her eyes as two fingers came resting upon her forehead. A powerful wave of heat blasted into her scull and the world began to spin in complete darkness. _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Everything felt so hot. It was strange! In a place of obscurity you would believe to feel the cold, but the air was warm and heavy around her, barely enough to breathe. Steps faintly clicked towards her louder and louder, but there was no one in front.  
  
- "Why do you result in such irrational ways?" a darker Lord Folken voiced.  
  
- "'Cause it's the best way to get rid of the evidence. No witnesses means no trouble," a familiar voice rang.  
  
It was him! The man she had seen in her dreams, even when she was awake. The one with the fire and thirst for blood in his eyes and the psychotic laughs and grins that scared her.  
  
A flood of memories washed over her. Fire, voices, faces, ashes... blood! Thousands and thousands of scenes she had never known flashed before her eyes, dizzying her. So much crimson was shown, so much of it. Men and children screamed out for mercy, but couldn't be heard by Gaea. He was there, every single time, his presence surrounded it all.  
  
Silence.  
  
Her breathing was all that could be heard. The beat of her heart raced faster and faster, but not in the painful ways she often went through. The rhythm slowly faded as her eyes opened.  
  
«Oh Gaea! Oh no!»  
  
Bodies of men, women, and children lay down at her feet as far as the eye could see. Some on top of the other. Some with fatal wounds of leaking blood and others with open eyes, but they were surely dead.  
  
Warmth wrapped around her hands and fingers, wet and sticky warmth. Her wide open eyes glanced down, unprepared for what was to hit her. The blood, she was responsible for everything. The man was her. His entire life and history of events now became her memories.  
  
She was a monster. _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Her eyes shot open.  
  
He was gone. Lord Folken had shown her what he wanted and now left her alone once more.  
  
- "All alone," she whispered to herself clasping at her dress. "I thought I was all alone... but you slipped in."  
  
The wall in front carried no strange designs or patterns. It was just as Celena had left it, with the word listen covering one end to the other. There was no evidence of anything that had just occurred.  
  
Her eyes gazed up at the dresser beside her. She had to see her face. She had to see who she really was and what was to become of her. Celena was no longer the little girl who suddenly disappeared, she had changed, but not for the better.  
  
Her tired hands gripped against the edge of the dresser and pulled her to her feet. A few more inches and she could reach the mirror. Her reflection was not the one she had wanted to see. Her confused eyes stared back in shock at the scar across her face. It was there for good! She had a demon inside of her and there was no possible way to get him out. In that moment of utter stillness, reality came in check and she had the answers to all of her questions.  
  
Celena couldn't stand it, she couldn't look at herself. For when she saw her eyes and features, the only thing reflecting back was the monstrous Dilandau. The mirror would never cover her face with a mask ever again. It didn't lie such as those around her did, and for that she hated it.  
  
The glass shattered into large and tiny pieces as she felt absolute dirt and blood over her every inch. She never wanted to see her face ever again. 


	3. The Tower

Asturia - chapter III *The Tower*  
  
- "Allen," a feminine voice managed to catch him in the hallway.  
  
- "Princess Eries," he bowed in respect.  
  
- "I have heard a great deal of things about what is going on. I, for one who have seen a part of her before my very eyes, know a great deal more about this matter than others might believe... but what puzzles me is how you react to her."  
  
- "Celena?"  
  
- "Yes! In the beginning she was your sister, but now I'm not so sure. What kind of a brother would leave someone so precious such as her alone for so long?"  
  
Allen looked away shamefully.  
  
- "You asked me to take care of her since the day I saw her in the graveyard paying respects to your mother, and I have done so since then. I haven't grown as close to her as my sister has, but there is something that has been brought to my attention."  
  
- "I know, I must tell her the truth soon," he replied slightly annoyed, but still polite.  
  
- "That's not what I mean," she suddenly cut him off.  
  
Confusion began to write itself all over Allen's face. That was the only thing people bothered him about when it came to his sister. Not many people have grown too close to her, for she lived a large part of the time in isolation or with the few people she trusted. Those who knew about her irritated him about telling Celena, but if that was not what Princess Eries was worried about, what could it possibly be?  
  
- "I don't understand."  
  
- "Through my time, I have found that those who seek clarification or understanding are shown their answers through the actions of others in the form of a dream. It has happened thousands of times. Even if Dilandau has only come out twice in the past three years, she has more and more of his memories everyday. I am not one for believing in such things, but I also didn't believe that it was possible for someone to descend from the Mystic Moon and save our world."  
  
- "You believe that she has found her answers?"  
  
- "Perhaps, not having seen her for so long. Her questions are growing heavier and patience wearier. I wouldn't let her spend another minute alone, even if it meant breaking down the door," informed the princess. "In the states that I have seen her in, no one knows how she will take the blow."  
  
Thousands and thousands of pictures ran through his mind at that moment, images of how Celena was. Somehow, deep inside of him, Allen knew that his beloved sister had found out. His stomach just twisted and throat went all dry, it was just a feeling. He could see her cry, walk through the palace confused, run away, search for him, go insane... there were so many of them and each one of them got worst and worst.  
  
He had to find her and know that she was all right, that he was wrong and over-exaggerating.  
  
Allen looked back up at Princess Eries and stared with concern. Her eyes did not comfort him only answered blankly. "Go to her," she ordered.  
  
He dashed as if a pair of wings was at his feet, leaving a small wind blowing through Eries' hair. His heart was pounding in fear, fear of what was to come. She was all that he had left and if he lost her again, Allen wouldn't know what was to become of his life.  
  
A maid turned around a corner just as he sprang into a sprint. She fell over, tumbling down the neatly folded blankets to the ground. The knight did not seem to notice this. He only apologized under his breath and left once again, not even bothering to turn his head.  
  
The hallways seem to stretch a lot more than usual. Celena's room always felt close, but it was so far away now. He thought he'd never reach it, that he'd spend the entire day running before paintings and carpets, never nearing his true destination.  
  
He didn't dare to think anymore of other ways Celena might of brought the past upon herself. They were too horrible. Also, if he thought, he might slow down or stop, and getting to her was all that he wanted, all that he needed. He was breathing hard and a part of himself was afraid to move or do anything, but the panic was taking over.  
  
He had finally reached it and skidded to a halt. The doorknob was stuck and wouldn't move.  
  
- "Celena," he called banging on the door. "Open up."  
  
No answer.  
  
- "CELENA!" he was getting worried.  
  
* * * *  
  
Her droopy eyes traced along the path to the door. The chair was holding its position and wouldn't move. She could hear him calling her name through the wooden barrier, but the miss didn't know who she was anymore; if she was Celena, Dilandau, or something else.  
  
His voice yelled this time.  
  
- "That's not my name," she whispered, knowing that her brother couldn't hear her.  
  
* * * *  
  
She wasn't going to answer. She wanted to be left, but he would not allow that.  
  
- "I'm coming in," he warned.  
  
Allen banged his side against the door, attacking it with all his might. He could feel his left arm begin to get numb, but the sensation wasn't enough to stop him. He barged again and again and again. On the last blow, as he almost wanted to cry in despair, the door swung open and the clatter of a broken chair clashed against the wall.  
  
Now, he truly wanted to cry. The sight that faced him wanted to make him die. He couldn't even hold his breath as his heart pumped faster and faster. It was an image that would never ever leave his mind. It would haunt him 'till the day he died.  
  
Celena's feeble body lay almost lifeless on a chair with her eyes halfway open staring right back at him. The light almost blinded her, bringing a frown upon her forehead. It was not what scared Allen the most though. His sight travelled down to the floor, stopping at her bare arms.  
  
She was bleeding.  
  
A long cut ran from the inside of her elbows all the way down to her wrist. No it wasn't just one... there were more, coursing on both arms. They were still fresh, or at least seemed like it. So much blood came out of them, always flowing, never stopping. A dagger rested on the floor, in the middle of a large pool of blood. She wasn't strong anymore... she snapped.  
  
- "Celena? What did you do?" he barely choked out as he kneeled down to her. "Don't move. I'll take care of it."  
  
She could feel him tending to her wounds, but didn't look back down to him. Her voice came back to her, louder than before, but barely above a whisper. "Is this my blood? Or is it his?"  
  
Shock ran all over his face. "Oh Gaea!" He grabbed her in his arms, ignoring the stains tainting his pants and shirt. «Celena, stay with me. Don't let go.»  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
«Is it over? Am I dead? I don't know anymore. I can't see you Allen, but I think your arms are around me. But what is this place? Am I in heaven?»  
  
- "You wish!" a male voice came into her head.  
  
It felt as if a dagger stabbed her heart, slowly, going deeper and deeper until the other end would peak out through her back. It was called, fear; a human emotion she hadn't known too well. Confusion and paranoia yes, but this new word was different. It was overwhelming, howling. She couldn't control herself.  
  
A large smile plastered itself on his face as he appeared in his steps. Celena did not see him, for her back was at his front, but his aura and presence was more than she could handle. She could feel his sight slicing right through her, cutting and gashing at everything in her soul until nothing would be left.  
  
He clouted a strong hand towards her cheek, leaving a large red sore that appeared on her face seconds after. It burned! Not like a sting, but like fire. Everything about him screamed fire and ashes, especially his touch.  
  
Moments flashed before her eyes. Young men only 15 or so stood in straight lines, suffering the blazing agony on their faces. There were others he relieved his pain over.  
  
- "Get away from me. Please!" she pleaded feeling herself sink deeper and deeper.  
  
- "How can I? I am you. Your mind is mine. Your heart is mine. Your..."  
  
- "STOP IT! I beg of you."  
  
Tormenting others... oh how he missed it. Seeing the fear in their eyes, the sweat leaking against their skin, the tremor of their dread. This was what Dilandau loved to see, what he was born for. It made him feel powerful, superior... a god.  
  
But seeing her as she was, he couldn't feel anything. Why? Why was he not satisfied when this woman he hated so much wept? She was stronger than him, that was why he detested her. He should've been the one in control of their body, not some idiot child. How could she be the one pulling him back? His power was beyond anything anyone could ever have, but she was still greater than him. Why?  
  
Everything about the tall slender boy frightened her. His skin bearing the colour of the moonlight. The fiery red rose orbs constantly cutting into her. His silver bangs flapping right on top of his eyes. He was the one she saw in the mirror.  
  
The life she had known was a lie.  
  
Her life was a nightmare.  
  
- "Are you afraid me?" he asked kneeling down to her, wondering if it would make him feel something.  
  
- "Y... yes," she replied tilting down her head to cover the tears appearing behind her ocean blue pools.  
  
Nothing! He felt nothing! She couldn't give him one of the things he wanted the most. Who was this woman? She was a part of him. As much as he hated it, she was him. It was a feeling that went deep inside his bones. He often said it, but never thought it through. Maybe that was the reason why he couldn't reach her the way he wanted. It couldn't be it, could it?  
  
- "If this isn't heaven, I must be in hell," whispered Celena lifting up her chin. Two crystal clear tears poured down the side of her cheeks, dripping under her jawlines.  
  
- "You're in neither. This is our mind."  
  
«Our mind?»  
  
It couldn't be her's as well. It felt so cold and lonely... and empty. They were the only ones there. She thought there might have been a light somewhere or even a glow, but there was nothing, only her real self standing in front of her. It was terrifying! Knowing that what was truly in the core of you was dark and deserted.  
  
- "That's not true," she whispered to herself. "You lie just like everyone else." But deep down inside of her veins, Celena knew that the truth was finally said. She grabbed his arm, hoping to find something in a physical touch.  
  
He jerked back unexpectedly, just as her fingers grazed the leather sleeve of his uniform. He was not afraid of her... it was something else. Her touch burned him. Even if his skin was buried under layers of material and leather, he could feel it hurt. It must have been that hateful thing called innocence, even if she believed it was gone.  
  
It was childish and weak things such as that, that Dilandau Albatou was taught to forget. He was nothing more than a killer.  
  
- "Every waking moment I spent in my life," she began looking straight at him, "the only thing I could see was you and all that you have ever done. I can't take it! I'm only a child, set out in the world as frail and vulnerable. I have not even come to understand why with all the bloodshed brought on our hands... I wake up and breathe every time the sun rises. I only live in your shadow. You know more about life than I will ever know, even if it is not on the terms that I agree. If the body is what you want... than take it. I don't want it!"  
  
Dilandau looked at her confused, unsure of what was happening, but he could finally be rid of her.  
  
- "I just want it all to end. No heaven or hell, no hiding in the dark, nothing. I want it all to just stop."  
  
Somehow, he understood her. It was strange, even though they were complete opposites, he could comprehend every little word that came out of her mouth. The thought of ending everything, it was so simple, so complete. Not just ending life itself, but all that came after. All the pain and unwanted memories would cease to exist... he would cease to exist. They both wanted the same thing.  
  
He thought for a moment, unsure of what he wanted. He could follow life and make the most of it, or bring all of it to a permanent halt. Three years alone in the dark in the corner of a mind, maybe he could at least see another sunset... but dying with it wasn't a thought, at the moment.  
  
- "You would be willing to give up everything you have, everything you could have freely?"  
  
Celena did not nod or speak or even breathed. Her ocean eyes were placid and hollow.  
  
- "So be it!"  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
A soft bed underneath, the sunset shining through the window, and a pair of gentle eyes up above. She was back in the real world.  
  
She was back?  
  
This wasn't right! She wasn't allowed to exist anymore... and if so in a little dark corner where no one could see her. She wasn't supposed to see the sunset, or the ceiling, or even the blue in the other pair of eyes. Darkness was all that she should've been surrounded in. - "Celena, are you all right?" Allen broke into her mind.  
  
She ripped herself out of the covers and snatched her hand away from her brother's comforting grip. Rushing to the furthest corner of the bed, her eyes wandered vigorously around, not knowing if she should rejoice at another chance, or scream for death.  
  
- "Can you hear me?" he questioned soothingly, avoiding a harsh tone that would cause even more distress in her mind. "Celena?"  
  
It wasn't working. She wouldn't answer him. Her breaths increased rapidly, harsher and louder within each passing moment. It was as if she had seen something worst than her past. She could hear him and understand him, he knew that, but what Allen wasn't sure of was if she was capable of breaking out of wherever she was.  
  
He noticed her hand grip one of her shoulders painfully.  
  
- "Princess Millerna gave you a kind of medicine so you could get your strength back. She said that it was impossible for you to be healed and conscious in the condition you were in. The lack of sleep and food wasn't any help. It needed to be dealt with quickly."  
  
Celena seemed to grow a little bit more nervous.  
  
- "Don't worry! It's a bit like force-feeding. The pain will be gone by tomorrow morning."  
  
Allen leaned forward, wanting to touch her and let her know he was there. A knee placed itself on the edge of the bed and a hand a little further. He inclined his weight a little more forward until he was in front or her. Gentle fingers reached out from a white gloved hand and carefully pulled back some hair behind her ear.  
  
Celena smacked away the hand harshly and only huddled a little more inside of her own ball. Knees brought up to her chest, eyes buried inside of the space in between, and palms gripping at her ankle.  
  
Allen was scared...  
  
- "Celena," he called out in a whisper so gentle in a way that even he couldn't hear. His eyes were on the brink of tears.  
  
- "You're not here," her soft voice barely replied.  
  
- "What?" worrisome escaped in his speech.  
  
- "You're not real," this time a little louder. - "Don't say that." Allen suddenly felt his heart tighten and all of the limbs in his body give way.  
  
- "I don't want you to be real. You're not real. You're not real."  
  
- "Shh!" he tried to calm her down. An arm wrapped around her back as his head rested on a shoulder reassuringly. He swallowed hard. "Everything is going to be all right. Just trust me."  
  
- "LEAVE ME ALONE," she screamed, pushing him back with the little strength she had.  
  
Allen wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He was so scared he didn't know how to cry anymore. She always looked up to him for support, advice, anything she needed. Even when it came to an opinion that should've been left between women, he would be the first she would see. It wasn't like her. It was as if she had turned into his own words as 'a stranger'.  
  
- "I don't want you to be real... because..." her head popped out and her eyes filled with tears, "because I don't want to exist. I was suppose to die or be left alone and let the other take over. If you're here than all of this really is real. I did kill and hurt all of those people and they weren't just dreams. I destroyed so many lives," she sobbed slowly falling over.  
  
He caught her just in time and held her in his arms. Her cheek nestled into his chest and she couldn't stop crying. His hands stroked her silver hair softly, trying to relieve her of the horrible thoughts she came through. Even so, he needed someone there for him just as much as she did.  
  
Hearing his beloved sister giving up all hope and wanting to disappear in any way possible struck his heart with a blade. All of their years together, the only thing he ever wanted was to see her happy and enjoying life, instead it all collapsed. His attempts failed... believing that hiding the truth was the best thing. Instead, it ended up destroying her.  
  
Even if Celena was in the knight's arms, he couldn't feel her anymore. Allen couldn't sense her essence or emotions. Somehow, she had slipped away.  
  
As if the devil himself had planned the moment, a page strode in hesitantly not wanting to interrupt the two siblings. He gently knocked on the wooden door and made a tiny crevasse as an opening. "Sir?"  
  
- "What?" he replied shakily, not even glancing at the door.  
  
- "I'm sorry to disturb you," he continued holding his breath nervously, "but King Van and Lady Hitomi have arrived. Your presence is needed."  
  
- "This is not the time for such matters."  
  
Celena had been quiet since she heard the door fling open, but her cheek did not escaped the warmth in Allen's chest.  
  
- "I'm very sorry... but... but they say this is of great importance."  
  
Allen closed his eyes tightly and bit his lip in frustration, fear, annoyance... an emotion that was along those lines. Seeing Hitomi and Van for him was important, but staying with his sister, whom was possibly going insane was the thing on his mind. Yet with all of his love and concern, he still couldn't manage to bring family before anything else.  
  
Slowly letting go of the silver locks that was her hair, he slid off the bed, holding her delicate hand until she was no longer in his reach. It pained him to leave her the way she was.  
  
His eyes locked with hers, both absorbing each other in the sky's colour. He didn't want to go, but he looked at the situation as if there was no choice. He strode off with a lack of posture, not letting his eyes leave Celena's. He reassured her... no, promised her that he would be back as soon as possible. That he would greet them, excuse himself for a few minutes and come back to make sure she was all right.  
  
Celena didn't really want it right now. She wanted none of it.  
  
* * * *  
  
- "Are you okay, Hitomi?" asked Van worriedly, watching her rub her temples.  
  
- "I think so. There's just something wrong in the air here. I don't know what, it's just... strange," she replied calming down a bit. "I'm sure it's nothing."  
  
- "All right! But tell me if anything else is wrong."  
  
- "I will."  
  
Allen slowly walked through the hall, his head down and deep lack of posture. Obviously something was bothering him and it would be impossible for anyone to ignore.  
  
- "It is wonderful to see the both of you once more," he acted, plastering on the fakest smile either of them had ever seen. "Please excuse me! My presence isn't as certain as usual. I've been having problems with my sister. I can only stay for a short time," explained the knight taking a graceful bow and placing a feather like kiss on top of her hand.  
  
- "We understand completely! It's just so good to see you again."  
  
It was then that she noticed Allen's hands were shaking. In fact, the tremor had reached his entire body. Hitomi knew that the feeling she had could not be dismissed. The problem was that Allen could not be read. He was completely blank, but she had to do something.  
  
* * * *  
  
The final cut! After this, there would be nothing left.  
  
Celena stared down at the bloody blade lying on the floor, waiting to be held. She remembered its sleek, smooth, silver surface cut deep inside her arms, but she didn't feel anything. The entire time that she slashed and bled, she didn't feel alive. That was when she knew it, her time to die had come. She had no place in this world.  
  
Her gentle hands, now clean from the blood, reached out and grasped the blade firmly with her slim fingers. The blade's surface glinted in the moonlight, making it all the more beautiful. She drew it up to her neck and lightly pressed against her skin.  
  
One stroke, it was all she needed.  
  
Celena could feel the cold and darkness creep inside of her. The darkness was dead, leaving nothing behind but a flowing liquid. She was slowly sinking into it, not even struggling to get out. It coursed through all of her veins, thicker than blood could ever be. She was dissolved in it, in the dead blackness.  
  
The cold was the only thing that she could feel, keeping her awake and still breathing, for the moment. It was like the darkness, sneaking up on her until it was ready to howl her whole. It chilled her to the bones, turning them into freezing dark ice that pinched her all over.  
  
Celena couldn't do it!  
  
Slowly, her hand drooped back down, creating a gap between the dagger and her throat. Halfway down, her fingers lost strength and the weapon came tumbling down with a slight noise that she couldn't hear in the dark and cold.  
  
What was she to become now?  
  
The world no longer gave her a purpose or desire. It wouldn't even let her die the way she wanted. She had lost her passion, fear, and melancholy. The emotions, they simply seemed to drift away. There was nothing left inside of her. Even the guilt was gone.  
  
Now, she was truly dead.  
  
Gently and slowly, her eyes travelled up to the window. The night, it was always her only bliss. The two moons were completely full, illuminating her entire room in white light. It brushed her cheeks warmly, trying to drive away the cold. Celena stared at them intently, listening to their voices. They were both calling out to her. She listened, as a child would with her mother. Her body swayed back and forth as a wave would, taking in every single whisper that was said.  
  
Her new mothers guided her through the agonizing moment.  
  
Celena abruptly stopped everything all together and just kept her gaze on the moons.  
  
She knew what she had to do.  
  
* * * *  
  
Allen was getting nervous. The worry was clouding his mind and he began to ignore the fact that Hitomi came, even if he knew he should be leaping with joy. The only woman who stuck in his mind was his sister, his poor little sister cooped up inside her room all alone with her tortures. He felt an obligation to go back to her, but he promised that he would stay for just another minute.  
  
Hitomi seemed to be getting distracted as well. He wasn't sure if her psychic powers were directing her to Celena, but he did not want to know. Every time that Hitomi had a vision or feeling of some sort, it was always something terrible that would cause others to suffer. He was dearly hoping she wasn't sensing his sister.  
  
- "So Van, how is reconstruction coming along?" he asked.  
  
- "It's coming along great! Things are coming to an end. Although there are a few matters that I must discuss with you and Millerna. Where is she?"  
  
- "She is presently in a meeting with councillors of Freid. The princess will join us shortly."  
  
Hitomi couldn't stand it anymore. That terrifying feeling was growing stronger by the minute and it was beginning to pierce her heart. The psychic's mind drifted away from the conversation the knight and her beloved were holding. Instead, the whispers of a woman and man was all that she could hear. Somehow she knew Dilandau's calling, one that could never be forgotten.  
  
Knowing that he was involved in this sensation is what ordered her to leave the two men. She did not even think twice about consulting her friend or beloved. Hitomi simply let herself be carried away by the strange haunting voices.  
  
She passed by pillars and windows, each one looking the same in her vague sight. In fact, most of the things surrounding her were faint and rapidly losing their forms, gently blending into each other revealing a light blue back ground that would stretch for miles and miles. Her eyes looked down and were relieved to find the blue carpet still under her feet. At least she would not walk in thin air.  
  
She's all alone She will die She will never see the sky...  
  
Hitomi lifted up her head from the blue fabric and glanced up. The strange childlike voice constantly rang in her head, but no one was there. She was the only one in this odd blue pit, listening to the melody of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" sung with frightening lyrics. She did not let this stop her though. The worry was only beginning to increase as the voice slowly faded away.  
  
She's all alone She will die She will never see the sky...  
  
A frightened glare came to be in Hitomi's eyes as she continued to pace further out in the unknown eternity the rug was leading her in.  
  
Suddenly, everything came back in place. The blue had vanished, leaving a dimly lit hallway with only the pale moon shining. Hitomi could feel goose bumps crawling up her skin, making her feel cold and confused. The door standing in front gave off the icy feeling, freezing to the touch. That's when she knew, everything was wrong.  
  
* * * *  
  
Van suddenly turned around, wanting to see once more the comforting eyes of the woman from the Mystic Moon. She was gone! "Hitmoti!" he called out slightly worried.  
  
- "Hitomi!" came about Allen, feeling as if he knew all too well where she could be. "This isn't happening. It can't be happening!"  
  
- "Allen, what's wrong? Tell me what's going on?"  
  
The once brave knight now glanced at the king with tears in the back of his eyes. They were welling up, ready to fall down. Van was surprised to see him cry. He had never known the man for showing weakness. It was even beginning to scare him.  
  
* * * *  
  
She's all alone She will die She will never see the sky...  
  
The strange haunting melody came from behind the door, seeping from the crack underneath. Hitomi didn't know if she could take it anymore. The song was driving her insane, running words through her head that she'd be willing to forget. Her hands clamped on the door handle, not caring if she lost feeling in her fingers from the cold. Someone was going to die soon.  
  
The icy handle turned without her wrist acting a single movement. She backed away for a few moments, not knowing what to expect in all of this hazy time.  
  
A black feather... it came floating down every so gently into her hands.  
  
- "Lord Folken?"  
  
Slowly, like a graceful cat readying for its prey, a tall dark figure stepped out. He slowly travelled his gaze towards her, shooting his cool icy eyes towards the young woman. He was so still and peaceful, yet she could feel a slight feeling of insecurity. Folken was worried about something, or someone.  
  
- "I was expecting you Hitomi. I knew that you would be the best messenger to Allen about this."  
  
- "About what? Where is she?" the girl asked demandingly, sensing that it was Celena's room. "What have you done with her?"  
  
- "I have only shown her who she truly is. I did nothing else."  
  
- "Than you shouldn't be afraid to tell me where she is."  
  
Folken let out a small chuckle and glared down at the ground as he took a seat on a chair. "The one you know as Celena Schezar is gone. She left moments before you came, not being able to stand the world around her. She finds no clarity in her life and despises everyone for keeping her past as a secret. This decision was hers and hers alone. Don't interfere with it."  
  
- "Why shouldn't I? She's too weak and vulnerable," Hitomi had no idea how she could possible know this, but the room itself was sending messages of distress and confusion. "Celena will die in a matter of days. We're talking about someone's life."  
  
- "No we aren't!" Folken came about so suddenly harsher than before. "We're talking about saving someone's soul. This is what this is truly about. Out of everyone, I thought you'd understand."  
  
His anger was sending large waves of emotions towards Hitomi's head. She thought she'd pass out by it, but it wasn't anger, it was concern. A strong feeling that brought him back from the dead in a ghostly spirit. Folken was Celena's guide, her friend, her guardian angel. He would look after her and make sure that she would find her way in the vast world of Gaea. It was certain! But she didn't know why he felt so guilty about the poor woman.  
  
- "I understand," she finally answered after absorbing the immense shockwaves he was sending to her. "Allen will know she is gone and all right, but I won't let him search for her. I only pray that she will live through this moment of her life, and I believe that you will be sure of that."  
  
- "Thank you!" he graciously voiced, knowing that it was the right choice to do.  
  
Lord Folken slowly backed away, step by step in perfect synchronization. His long black closed around him even tighter as he prepared for his leave. The wall behind him suddenly began to ripple into a large pool of dark ink, and his cold yet comforting eyes disappeared into the darkness.  
  
Hitomi just stood there for a second, amazed at how so much has changed since she left. Lord Folken had melted away all of the coldness his heart possessed. He was now completely free of his doubts and visions of a perfect world. Deep inside of him, he knew that the world could never be perfect, and Hitomi agreed with him.  
  
She stepped into the room, feeling all of the tension slip out of every single opening. It was calming down, coming back to a moment of peace. The psychic elegantly paced towards the open window over the divan pillows. Soft white and dark blue drapes cast ghostly shapes as the wind blew them to brush against her cheeks.  
  
Hitomi glanced around, noticing "listen" written all over the walls. Each word seemed to be printed weaker and weaker with every inch of the walls. She followed along with her eyes until one was in a corner, almost into an unreadable scribble. It was as if a child had written it. Her blue orbs continued to trace the walls until she found three words, three simple words that made all the difference in the world: I heard it.  
  
Somehow, deep inside her bones, the young woman knew that Celena was safe... for the moment. This was her chance to escape the life she carried with a heavy heart.  
  
No one was going to stop her.  
  
- "Hitomi!" called out Van's voice.  
  
Allen and Fanelia's king came rushing into the room, gasping for air. Van held Hitomi tightly towards his chest, watching her eyes glance at him nervously and fearful. He knew that she saw something wrong with Allen's family and that strange feeling is what lead her to this strange room.  
  
- "Celena?" called out the knight looking towards the psychic. "Where is she?"  
  
- "I'm sorry Allen, but she's gone. She couldn't stay here a minute longer."  
  
- "No, it can't be true," he shot back wanting to scream. "She can't be gone. I'm her brother, I won't let her leave," he firmly stated as his eyes glared over to the open window. "It's not true. Tell me that she's in the palace. Tell me that she's safe inside of Asturia."  
  
Hitomi stayed silent and looked down at her feet.  
  
- "Hitomi, ANSWER ME!" he screamed, shaking her by the shoulders.  
  
Van gently pushed him away defensively and tightened his grip on his beloved.  
  
- "I can't lose her, not again. I can't stand being alone again. She was my hope, my everything. Please bring her back, it is all I am asking for."  
  
Allen felt his heart rip in two as his tall and once proud frame collapsed to the ground. His soul was being split, torn out of his body and he couldn't bring it back. It left the moment that his sister had tried to kill herself, but now, it was even more empty inside. The knight felt completely hollow with only his tears and sorrow around him. Even his faithful comrades couldn't do anything to relieve his struggle.  
  
What in the world was left for him now?  
  
Strangely, he knew what answered that question just as Celena did: despair.  
  
Van wanted to cry, having nothing but sympathy for the Asturian knight. The king knew closely how Allen felt. When Folken was thought dead by the right of dragon slaying, his parents soon died afterwards, leaving him all alone with no one but himself and time. It was three years ago that he found his brother again, alive and well. Unfortunately, the day that he turned good once again, his blood was spilt all over the floors of Zaibach, drenching his beautiful black wings.  
  
Van blinked his eyes, relieving only one tear for all the memories that passed through his mind, but what he saw made him want to break down as well.  
  
There it was, floating in the air, completely out of place in this entire scene. A black feather twirling right in front of his eyes.  
  
- "Brother," he let out in the shakiest voice Hitomi had ever heard.  
  
This was going to be a night to remember.  
  
* * * * The Great Moon and Mystic Moon didn't to shine as brightly tonight, nor did the stars. They all rather seemed to hide into the eternal darkness of the sky, not wanting to be found. It was not their hour, and that they knew. They had no meaning on this night to those who kept living on each moment of their lives. The celestial bodies only answered to one woman and she listened to every word they muttered in full attention.  
  
On the cliff, all of the lights of Palas glittered and danced near the sea, like thousands of diamonds being swept away with each wave lap. Some would think that they were in a beautiful dream, but Celena would never call it that name, a name that haunted her every night and day. She called it, bliss. Simple and pure bliss.  
  
A slight breeze waved through her light aqua cape, one that she had asked her personal tailor to make for her days after she arrived in Asturia for the first time in ten. She remembered the turquoise set of clothes. They were those that she wore while being taken care of by Jajuka, the beastman who wanted nothing more than to see her happy.  
  
The darkness and cold she had felt alone in her room slowly seeped out of her veins, letting her breathe freely. It did not mean that she was free of her guilt and sorrow, only that she would not set off into the world with complete and utter despair with a strong need to die.  
  
As Celena looked over the place she once called home, her soul cried out its last words before it would begin searching for what she desperately needed.  
  
- "Farewell, brother! I only hope that someday, I will return to you as the sister I was suppose to be."  
  
At that moment, with the lives of all those she slaughtered weighing down on her shoulders, she knew that her life was about to change. 


	4. The Hanged Man

AU: 'Bawn' is simply a name I invented. It means a type of beer. Disclaimer: Oculna and all characters in relation with it belong to me. They take no part in the series.  
  
Oculna - chapter IV *The Hanged Man*  
  
- "Isn't she a pretty thing!"  
  
- "It's about time we got some fresh blood around here. Heard she arrived last night."  
  
- "Never thought that a face like that would even think of settling here, or even passing through."  
  
- "Well, I'm not complaining so far."  
  
It stank of ale in there. The stench would fly in your nostrils and choke your every breath. One whiff, and the entire world would spin in circles.The putrid smell seeped from every table, every glass, and every drunk in sight. To escape it would only be possible by exiting the door.  
  
Celena sat there quietly, drinking her water in tiny sips with placid eyes. The bartender couldn't believe that someone would order water in a tavern such as this, but it was to no matter. Money came in and it help suffice his greed.  
  
A time of reflection was upon her. She had to decide what would become of her. She was saved by her own death three times, and she took it as a sign that her time had not yet come. After hearing the soft songs of the moon, she couldn't bare to wield the strength of her final fate once more. It wasn't the answer, and in some twisted way, she had learned that in such a short period of time.  
  
Even with such new wisdom, her mind became nothing but a blank slate ready to absorb any conclusions that would be given to her. Still, the notion of dying could not be ignored and she somehow prayed that she did bleed to death in Allen's arms. That thought somehow frightened her, for neither did she want to inflict so much pain to her brother by feeling her slip away under his grasp.  
  
- "Well hi there little girl," a strong stench of bawn escaped with someone's breath. "You seem new around here. Maybe I could show you around and protect you from the big bad men who would take advantage of such a pretty little face."  
  
Celena slowly turned around and looked directly into the man's eyes. "I am in no need of protection."  
  
- "Oh come on now, damsels in distress are well known around here."  
  
- "Pete," another woman called out to him, slapping him across the face. "Another one of your little fights or hassles and I will throw you out once more into the streets. Next time, and I can see it coming soon, you will be banned from her. Understood?"  
  
- "Of course, pretty lade," he replied, not able to remember her real name.  
  
The waitress let out a huge sight of frustration as she pushed him aside. "Filthy no-good drunk!"  
  
She continued to swear a bit more as she threw herself over an empty space on the counter in order to serve her guests. She took out a cloth hanging by her belt and cleared off all of the disgusting and unwanted ashes as well as liquor flooding her way. Celena was unprepared for her glass of water to spill all over her lap as the waitress swept her arm a little too fast.  
  
- "I am so sorry," she apologized as she tried to soak in all of the water falling over the counter. "I'm terribly sorry. I will get you another one, on me, no charge."  
  
- "Honestly, it's quiet all right!" Celena tried to console her, but to no avail.  
  
- "No it's not," she quickly dismissed. "What is it you ordered?"  
  
- "Water."  
  
The waitress gave her the strangest of glances as if Celena was out of her mind. She picked up her glass and gave it a quick sniff. She expected a strong smell of some sort, but none came into her senses. She curiously refilled the glass, scratching her itchy nose at the same time.  
  
- "You must be new in Oculna. No one has ever ordered water here."  
  
- "It's my first time in a tavern."  
  
- "Take my word of advice: Skip town. This place is just filled with greedy old thugs who would do anything for a good drink or even a good woman, "she stated rubbing a glass clean with her stained cloth.  
  
Celena grabbed her glass once more and looked into the waitress' brown eyes. "Than why do you stay here?"  
  
- "My mother is sick and my father has left us. In other words, I have nowhere else to go," she let out with a gentle, yet fake smile. She poured another glass of bawn to a man who was beginning to get impatient. "That's what Oculna really is for; people from Asturia, Bazram, and other great countriess around who lost everything. It's not a place for anyone to start their lives, only to watch it slowly slip away with a glass of ale by their side. This town somehow drains the life out of you. For this, I hope that you are only passing through."  
  
- "If you could, would you leave?" Celena asked curiously.  
  
She let out another smile, this time nowhere near fake. It held the look of a daydreamer. "In a heartbeat." She gathered some empty glasses with only a drop or two of bawn left at the very bottom. "My name is Astasia, no last name, there aren't many around here."  
  
- "Celena!"  
  
- "CELENA?" a man's voice yelled with a heavy accent as he looked into her pale blue eyes. "Could she be Celena Schezar, the little sister of the night of Kaeli, who ran away from home?"  
  
- "Oh come now you fool," replied Astasia rolling her eyes. "If she truly is the sister of the great knight Schezar, do you really think she would use her true name to bring about attention? Honestly, perhaps you should think a bit more before throwing around accusations, Galor!"  
  
Celena couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief as Astasia unknowingly covered for her. Her identity had almost been revealed a little too soon. It would be best if she left this town before any more suspicions began to fill the air. They seemed to spread quickly with ever soul in sight away of such things. Her gaze traveled across the room, taking in all of her surroundings and the people that wasted their lives. They all seemed the same... at the exception of a single one.  
  
He was alone, not even holding a beverage in his hands. His dark cloak wrapped tightly around his shoulders projected that strange and enigmatic look. His shoulder-length red hair cascaded before his face, hiding whatever features she could put to him. He gently turned his face towards her, his eyes flashing inside of her mind. They triggered something inside of Celena, something she had yet to put words to, hence the confusion that began to wander inside of her.  
  
- "Who is that man?" she asked her voice a little too shook up.  
  
- "Him? Don't mind him. He's just one of those wanderers who ignore what they look for. Although I do suggest that you be careful. Many roomers have spread that a trail of bodies follows him everywhere."  
  
Celena did her best to push back the disturbing images that kept flashing before her eyes. He was linked to her somehow, and maybe through this man she could finally be free of the torment set upon her soul.  
  
_____________________________________________________________________  
  
- "This can not be done. It is playing God!"  
  
- "There is no other way to follow his orders."  
  
- "For pity's sake, she is a child taken away from her life. You can't ask me to take part in this. I will no longer service you if this follows."  
  
- "Than make it your own choice. Do as I say, or face our master in ways you can't even perceive."  
  
_____________________________________________________________________  
  
- "My, my," Astasia broke into her thoughts, "what a nasty scar that is. Where did it come from?"  
  
Celena ran her hand over her scar in a much more gently manner than Dilandau ever could. She stroked again and again, pressing her fingers against it harder every time, until, she squeezed it tightly, cutting her circulation and rendering her cheek white. "It came from a jealous and stupid king along with his pest of a woman," her voice was so cold and alarming. She spoke in a matter that Astasia had never heard before. She slightly shook beneath her skin and stepped back with another glass full of bawn. The waitress tried to gaze into Celena's eyes, now peered in deep focus towards the floor. The young woman had stopped moving completely, not even releasing her hand from her cheek. "Celena, are you all right?"  
  
- "HUSH!" she seemed to scream it as her head snapped up. Her features twisted into a taunting grin, her eyes focusing so closely on Astasia's. She let out a quiet cackle, as her now red orbs seemed to cut deeply into the waitress' soul.  
  
Astasia had lost herself to fear in those eyes, ones she had never seen. She drowned in it, feeling its dark and cold substance seep into her veins. Her face lost its hazel color and was swept away by the paleness of fright.  
  
- "Astasia," the voice of her boss cut in to her relief, "stop talking to that girl and help me serve the tables."  
  
She took one last look at Celena, surprised at her sight. Celena's head was resting in both her hands, as she seemed to be panicking. Her breaths were shallow and loud and her back heaved up and down constantly as if she would never bring enough air into her lungs. Astasia set off to do as her boss wished, not even wanting to meddle into the affairs of this obviously troublesome woman.  
  
«Let it out! Don't hold back your true nature.»  
  
She did the best she could to push back the voice in her mind, but to no avail.  
  
«You will never survive on your own. Take it! Take what you were given and only then can you be free.»  
  
- "NO!" she screamed, tightening her grip over her silver locks.  
  
Everyone in the tavern turned their heads towards her, silence reigning as ever the musicians ceased their joyful tune. She lifted up her head, glancing at the people whose eyes were fixed on her strongly.  
  
She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't want to be noticed. She only wanted to be a ghost of a shadow that slithered in the darkness where no one would find her. Laughter suddenly came into place as so many drunken faces bared a crooked smile. The world around began to spin rapidly in circles over her head. She could feel her knees become weak and lost all of her strength. Just in time, a strong pair of arms caught her lithe body and led her outside.  
  
****  
  
- "Sir," Gaddes stormed into the room, "we've searched every inch of Asturia and there's not a trace of her." He brought his head down, not wanting to say the next words. "She's vanished and there's nothing else we can do."  
  
- "THERE HAS TO BE!" He shouted, his hands clenched in fists as he fiercely pounded on the arm rests.  
  
- "Commander..." Gaddes whispered.  
  
Allen's head snapped up as he hauled himself out of his chair. His eyes were red and dry, with large bags forming beneath them. Whatever was left of the head-strong captain died in the past day, along with the light of hope that life would treat him fairly. Gaddes took his eyes off of his friend, not wanting to see him in such a way. However, wherever he looked, a sign of grief could be seen. The knight's sword was deeply plunged into the wooden walls, instead of by his side.  
  
- "Make another sweep. Surround Asturia and open up the circle until we reached the neighbouring countries. It's only been a day, she couldn't possibly be further than that."  
  
- "Sir," he continued a little stiff, "may I remind you that she was once Dilandau, a soldier trained in every way as a survivor and as a hunter. In this she has gained every ability he has every trained for. May I also remind you that she could have turned into him for good."  
  
- "I know about these circumstances and..."  
  
- "But are you ready to face them?" Gaddes cut him off knowing his patron wasn't thinking properly. "If she has turned, you will have to fight with him... and maybe even take his life."  
  
Allen seemed to have lost his breath for a split second. "You can't ask me to..."  
  
- "Sir, he is a blood thirsty murderer. To let him walk freely would stand against everything a knight stands for."  
  
- "Gaddes," he silenced his friend, "I'm talking about watching my sister die." He walked over to the left wall, staring blankly at his sword. "If she has become that young monster," he pulled out his weapon in the swiftest of movements, "I know she will return to me. She has done it once and therefor carries an urge to do it again."  
  
The second in command turned the doorknob of the room, but only managed to take a single step out before, "Than I guess that all we can do is hope that she has remains the same."  
  
- "She's a Schezar. Even without hope, Celena will eventually pull through." ~  
  
Millerna felt her heart sink under his words. Eves dropping has never been the proper thing for a lady such as herself to accomplish, but the pain instilled deeply withing him was flowing towards her with every movement or whisper he could muster. She couldn't take it anymore! Turning around on her heels, she escaped the choked and cracked words emitting from around the corner.  
  
Princess Millerna wanted to hate Celena so much, but couldn't bring herself to do so. Celena had brought so much distress to her kingdom with a simple departure. In a way it was funny! One of the most powerful countries in all of Gaea could be spun in such disorder by a simple leave.  
  
Suddenly, she felt ashamed.  
  
- "Princess Millerna!" Her head snapped up and out of her trance. Hitomi came racing forwards as if she hadn't a minute to spare. "Van has just received a really important message from Fanelia. I'm sorry, but we're going to have to leave."  
  
- "It's all right, Hitomi. I understand."  
  
- "No, it's not all right," she suddenly snapped throwing Millerna completely off-guard. "You and Allen need us right now. Friends aren't supposed to run away from each other."  
  
- "Hitomi, I am grateful for your kindness, but one thing you will learn is that a king must always put his country before anything else, or the consequences of his actions would soon be brought upon others. Trust me, Van's doing the right thing."  
  
Hitomi managed to relax a bit, hearing the words from Millerna herself. "All right, but I'll do everything I can in Fanelia to help stop Allen's pain."  
  
Millerna gently smiled at her young friend's words. A friend such as Hitomi was rare and could only be found when you needed them the most.  
  
- "Just one more thing," her head tilted down almost as if she was afraid to what had to be said, "Celena doesn't want to be found. Only by being outside in the world will she be all right. She will come back when she's ready."  
  
****  
  
No lights penetrated the gloom of the room. The air had become pitch black without a cast of moonlight strung by the clouds. She felt herself begin to drift off once again, her disappearance surely gone unknown. It was in here that she no longer existed. However, something had gone astray, for her heart still carried the pains and cries of others. This was different, never reaching the standards of before, it was so much more.  
  
A shutter flapped open, blinding her by the full moon. It cast a path from the sky to her face, shattering the fold the darkness held her in. She listened carefully, not wanting to be deceived by her own wish of mutability.  
  
A second heartbeat followed hers, one so much more calm and fearless than her own. She felt heavy, listening to it pulsate over and over. His breath was nowhere to be heard and nowhere to be seen in the coolness of Oculna. This stranger had a rare gift of not being seen.  
  
- "Where have you brought me?" she asked to the darkened corners, pushing down her fear in knowledge it would betray her.  
  
She felt a hand push her silver locks behind her shoulders, a hand nowhere in sight. Something began to creep down her arm, holding her wrist into a light grasp that she dared not escape. The bustle of a cloak came from behind her, and that wanderer from the tavern towered over her back.  
  
He leaned down to her ear, whispering in a cold breath, "Do you fear the power what lurks inside of you?"  
  
- "Yes," she replied, swallowing hard.  
  
- "Than I give you all of my courage, for it is nothing. You think you know what he is? The strength he holds? His time hasn't even begun." 


	5. The Devil

AN: So sorry for longevity of this update. I've just had so much trouble with this chapter that I was ready to just drop it. Of course, it's too important so I had to finish it.  
  
  
  
Oculna - chapter V *The Devil*  
  
- "Who are you?" she asked, feeling as if her mind was about to break.  
  
- "You already know the answer to that question," he replied as his hood cascaded over his shoulders. His hands came forth in front of him, as if he would soon begin to pray. His laconic stare did nothing to try and penetrate inside of her. He knew what he would find. In there stood a demon in which the eyes would never leave you.  
  
She did not dare speak a word, in fear that it would delude her. He knew of her and secrets she held with great regret. For the first time since her rebirth, Celena felt exposed and completely naked. There was nothing left to keep her hidden.  
  
Celena had never felt so lost in her life. The easiest words she could use to describe such a sensation were "a cold ditch where everyone she had killed stood above her, screaming her guilt and that she was nothing in this world, that she meant nothing." However, it was the guilt that seeped into her soul.  
  
Who could she become?  
  
«Do you really believe his intentions will keep you alive? Wanderers as him hunt you down. You'll die minutes before the door is within your reach. Let me go.»  
  
Celena swallowed hard, feeling everything inside twist and turn. She slightly stepped back, glancing over him from head to toe. A resemblance came across his eyes and her memory. Her pale blue eyes widened in fear as her beholder stood there with hunched shoulders. Suddenly, her feet didn't feel so heavy as her entire frame broke into a sprint. The location of a door was unknown to her, yet she could sense it being right behind her.  
  
The second she found the wooden doorknob, he seized her arm fiercely and spun her around in a tight grip.  
  
- "Let me go!" she yelled as her other fist met with his face.  
  
The blow crashed into his nose and his bones painfully cracked. His grip gently began to loosen, but Celena was too stunned by her sudden strength to realize it. Instead, a hand rested before her mouth as she began to cry two tears.  
  
«That's it! This is who you really are.»  
  
- "No," she stuttered, "no, no, no, no, no! Too much. There's too much crawling, too much falling. There's too much," her eyes frantically wandered the room, images springing painfully in her mind. A tremor bore into her hands and it took little time for her entire body to break into a quiver.  
  
The wanderer stepped a little closer, holding a handkerchief up to his nose. This was not what he had been expecting at all. His sight had foretold about the strength that would be released into the world, but great weakness was all that could be seen. She wasn't about to snap, that had already been done and any blind fool could see that. She was falling apart and trying to hold on by that thin piece of thread.  
  
A heavy hand reached out to touch her tilted head.  
  
- "Touch," she let out a hoarse kind of laugh, "touching only make things worst. Touching makes things cold, they make things red."  
  
His nose stopped bleeding as he threw his tissue into his cloak. "Celena, everything is all right! Your touch doesn't do such things anymore."  
  
She almost threw herself into the nearest corner, huddled and hugging the walls. She furiously banged her head against the wall, whispering and whimpering, "My head doesn't hurt. No, my head doesn't hurt. It's just too loud. They like to scream, they do. They always scream." Her hands wandered everywhere through the air in directions that all together made no sense. She crashed her head one last time, the sound resonating against the walls. "My head doesn't hurt."  
  
He stepped a bit closer once again, even slower in caution to avoid distress. "What does hurt?"  
  
«You can't get rid of me. I'm always here.»  
  
- "No... no... no..."  
  
- "Where does it hurt?" he repeated almost soothingly.  
  
Her hands ceased fluttering in the airs, but only began to tug at her clothes as if the heat in the room had rushed up. Beads of sweat ran against her skin, yet she felt ice cold. "Mmmmmmm......... Mmmmmmmm..." she began to weep a little louder, shutting her eyes as tightly as possible.  
  
- "Celena," he called out a little more forcefully, "where does it hurt?"  
  
- "Here," she pounded her fist against the left side of her chest. Her breathing was now shallow and rapid, hesitating at every word. "In here, it always hurts. It always beats and beats and beats until all I can hear is this humming and the screaming."  
  
- "The beating means you have a second chance."  
  
«He's lying! It's a curse! It's a curse for both of us.»  
  
He pushed back some hair clinging to her skin where a river of sweat flowed. A large red scar ran all across her shoulder and what appeared to be an even deeper one between her two neck bones. The wounds were obviously inflicted from herself, not the hands of another.  
  
Her hand gently crept behind her back and threw a sheathed dagger to the floor. "Blood is life," she voiced in a steadier pace. For the first time in the past few moments, she stared at him dead in the eyes. "It's what keeps you warm, what keeps you alive. With all the ones we took, I thought maybe that if we gave some, they wouldn't suffer anymore. They wouldn't be dead and there would be no screaming in our head. I wanted to give them our life." The wanderer's hand rested against her scarred cheek, "Celena, you don't have to give your life to anyone."  
  
- "No, we do. We took so many. We took so many and a smile was what we gave back. They need our blood." She crouched down and quickly reached for the dagger. The blade glinted against the little amount of light seeping through the cracks of the boarded ceiling.  
  
He couldn't let her shed more blood, wether it was her own or that of someone else. This nightmare of hers had to end and he could only hope that he would be the one to bring it. Just as the sharp tip pierced into her forearm, his hand swept above hers, snatching the blade before she even had the chance to realise it.  
  
- "NO!" Pure pain came across her eyes as she fell back onto her knees, tugging at his long brown cloak as he hid the dagger deep inside. She began to jitter more vibrantly, shaking her head vigorously. "We need it. We need it so we can rest."  
  
The man looked at her with a plain look of confusion. "We? Who's we?"  
  
She looked away this time, her eyes glaring down at the floor into nothingness. Her hands reached for her hair and tensed as if to pick up something large and heavy. They raked through her hair, faster and faster. She couldn't seem to answer anymore as her eyes tore away from his. He couldn't see her soul.  
  
- "Celena, loot at me," he kneeled down and shook her by the shoulders, "who's we?"  
  
- "Me..." she managed to whimper. Her eyes seemed to shift in ambience from the ocean to fire. It almost emitted its own light. Everything about her seemed to change in those few seconds. Nothing physical came about, but another part of her spirit washed over. "And me."  
  
- "Dilandau..." he could only whisper.  
  
- "Lorn," venom leaked from his words, but in the voice of his counterpart. Faster than the eye could see, Dilandau snatched back the dagger from behind Lorn's cloak. "You're such a hypocrite! Showing yourself as a wanderer trying to help this weak thing of a girl when you yourself are still lost. How could you possibly even think that you could be her guide?"  
  
Lorn stepped far back to the other end of the room, throwing off his cloak to easily reach for his sword, though he did not draw. "Leave her Dilandau. You're not the one I came to talk to."  
  
He cackled below his own breath. "I guess then that your luck has run out."  
  
«What do you expect out of him? There's nothing he can give you.» - "HUSH!" he screamed to the voice echoing in his head. "SHUT UP!"  
  
The little girl inside began to laugh at him, as he grabbed his hair and shook violently. He didn't want to go through this again. It was deeply believed inside of him that once he knew Celena was the true being... no, not the true being for that was him, but the original being, the voices would stop haunting him.  
  
«She's all alone She will die She will never see the sky»  
  
- "NO STOP IT!" He couldn't control himself anymore.  
  
Lorn managed to relax a little, noticing that his opponent wasn't the same boy he left him to be. However, his confusion couldn't help but escalate. He swallowed back hard, watching the young man ripping at his hair and shouting at a voice only he could hear.  
  
The wanderer was surprised by the sudden actions, for they resembled much of those of Celena's. They seemed to be merging closer and closer into one, but what was to come out of it would be an unspeakable being. One that would whisper the words of countless and nameless fears and counter actions that only they would see fit.  
  
It was something the world wasn't ready for just yet. However, the world was never ready for Dilandau, not even now.  
  
- "I can't take it anymore!" Dilandau suddenly stopped breaking on the floor and paced around vigorously, refusing to let go of his cobweb filled head. "Now, everyone's just in hear and talking. You'd believe that once I knew everything inside and out, no one could hurt me. No one could yell at me." His eyes glanced towards Lorn, hidden behind the sharp silver bangs that flapped against his skin. "Have you ever heard the pain of the world Lorn?"  
  
- "No, I haven't!"  
  
- "It's the most beautiful sound in the world, music to so many ears... but now, I feel like it's killing me. It's this girl and her... I can feel her withering away, slowly dying into decay. It's filthy, this soul of hers."  
  
- "You can't silence all the voices. You have to listen to them."  
  
His red eyes slowly drifted away and Celena's ocean once again reigned over, the soft and calming one. Her hands gently fell beside her as determination came across her entire face. "I know what I have to do."  
  
Lorn couldn't help but let out a small smile of hope as she finally managed to find a moment of clarity in the trauma. "That's wonderful! You're learning what it means to..."  
  
- "I have to kill them all," her voice was soft and unmoving, yet it struck such pain into the wanderer's heart as he could finally feel the tears held back since dusk begin to make their way forwards.  
  
- "No, that's not the answer."  
  
- "Why live when there's so much pain? I don't want to feel them anymore. I will make them go away. I will make them disappear. On this night, the stars themselves will hide."  
  
* * * *  
  
Astasia couldn't get the sight of Celena's eyes our of her head. Those red garnet orbs haunted her mind since last night. Sleep hadn't even come to her. The minute that she would close her eyes, those orbs came to mind and only a nightmare would follow.  
  
Tonight, her work was by far dull and sloppy. The owner had come down on her many times for not reaching the same speed she could exceed as usual. He wasn't a very patient man, but the pay was good and enough to support her mother. The illness had been rising to a much more serious degree and this could only drown Astasia in worry everyday. The fever never decreased and it seemed as if there wasn't a healer in town that could cure her. There was never a lack of money involved, only a lack of knowledge by the part of people.  
  
- "This has never happened before, it's almost frightening," a man's voice snapped the small bartender out of her thoughts.  
  
- "You must have been dreaming. Oculna is the dullest place in all of Gaea. Our main event was when all the soldiers from the Great War over populated our city like cowards."  
  
- "But I swear it's true! Old man Pearson almost died this morning, stabbed right in the stomach." Astasia had her attention completely on their conversation now. "No one knows who it is and he seems to remain in too much shock to even speak."  
  
Astasia had stopped rubbing clean the mug she held in her hand, almost wanting to drop it. Murders did not happen very often in Oculna, and they never held such mystery. Though in all of the hushed whispers and constant rumours of a ghost, the young waitress could not help but know who's hands had befallen upon this most unforgivable sin.  
  
- "She needs to get out of this town," Astasia whispered to herself.  
  
- "What was that young lady?" asked one of the men who was talking, the fear completely gone from his scratchy voice.  
  
- "Nothing that would concern any of you," she replied, coming in front of the counter with a tray to clear up the empty tables.  
  
- "Well, with the murders occurring in Oculna, maybe you will be in need of someone to keep you company at night," he glanced down to her lower back smirking, "someone that would make sure that nothing happened to that pretty face of yours."  
  
Astasia sighed in frustration, wanting to do anything but deal with the likes of him. "Keep your hands to yourself sir, before I am forced to throw you out of this tavern."  
  
- "I'm sure that there are a few things we could do for each other," he passed a hand slyly around her thin waist.  
  
She couldn't handle his impolite ways anymore. Grabbing his rough hands, she twisted his wrist all the way to behind his back and managed to kick him behind the knees and onto the floor. "One thing you might want to know sir, is that with the constant treatment waitresses get from scum such as you, we easily learn how to avoid your... nasty habits."  
  
The man looked at her frowning in anger, but he didn't want a fight. He was only looking for an easy woman to hold onto for the night. She wasn't worth it! Without hesitation, he walked out of the bar with his friend not looking back.  
  
- "If anyone needs protecting tonight, it's people who can't even defend themselves," she whispered to herself returning to her job.  
  
* * * *  
  
- "It all seems so strange! It almost looks as if she's sleeping," Celena voiced to her companion, tilting her head sideways in examination.  
  
- "Of course she's like that," he placed a soft hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "Death is but an eternal and restful sleep. There's no difference from the others."  
  
Dilandau stood behind her, gazing with nothing but bliss at the bleeding body. It's large puddle of maroon never ceased stretching towards the cracks in the sidewalk. After three long years, he was finally able to smell it's heavenly warmth.  
  
- "Do you feel anything?" he asked her.  
  
Celena glanced down at her bloodstained hands, staring at them intricately. "No!" she answered with such ease. "I don't feel anything."  
  
Dilandau let out a satisfied smirk. "It's a start!" and in a misty wisp of air, he vanished from her sights.  
  
The young woman lay there motionless, the large gash over her throat still bleeding all of her life. Soon, the pool of blood stretched to Celena's feet and soaked into her boots as tiny rain drops began to spread it out thin. It was strange, to not feel the remorse or guilt, as she had felt for all of those she slaughtered so mercilessly in the past. Death was not as grasping as she had imagined.  
  
Bending forward, Celena cleaned off the blade of her dagger from the crimson hold. She sheathed it slowly, hearing every single screech of the metal grazing inside, and hid it once again under her dress.  
  
This was who she was meant to be: a killer. Celena had been so for so long, and now, past the ages of her life in which she would learn her path, death was all that she could see... all that she could taste.  
  
She had become once again the face of evil.  
  
- "What have you done?" came a voice from behind her. "Celena, what have you done?"  
  
- "Do you like it? Does it suite me better?" she shot back at him, almost forcefully pretending to be proud of her accomplishment.  
  
Lorn didn't know what to say anymore. This could not be true! He wouldn't let it be true... but the deed was done and could no longer be avoided. She had chosen Dilandau's path.  
  
- "How can you do this?"  
  
Celena glanced back over the body, "It was simple really! I took a knife, slit open her throat, and watched her bleed and suffocate."  
  
She had said it with such ease, emotionless in the eyes, though Lorn could not help but distinguish a certain flicker of fire in them. It was that of Dilandau! He wasn't apart from her anymore, nor was he sleeping. He was beginning to step out of that black hole of his and seep into her soul. He intoxicated her and wanted nothing more but to drive her down his own path. It was sickening, but nothing less expected from the murderer of the greatest war.  
  
Lorn had to stop this. Celena had too much ahead of her in life to end it this way. He saw her fate, and it was beautiful, nothing like this. - "This isn't you! You're playing the part of someone else. You're pretending to be someone else."  
  
- "No!" her voice ran clear with order. "You are the one who misunderstands. This is who I am, and who I have been for so long. What I know is the way of a killer, nothing else."  
  
- "Only because you have not yet had the chance to learn anything else."  
  
- "Stop wasting your breath old hypocrite. There is nothing you can say that will change my way of direction," she replied, though a bit shakier than before.  
  
It was in that glance, that moment, when Lorn believed that all hope for her had been lost, that he saw something quite remarkable. Celena was still inside, she was not entirely devoured by the beast. She did not want to neither, for her actions held a different purpose than what she showed. Now, it was all that Lorn could think about. It stayed in his thoughts, like a splinter in his mind.  
  
That plead for help, the one she unwillingly gave him in a second, was all he required to know that he was still needed here.  
  
- "You can't stop me! In fact, I would suggest that you leave Oculna, and find some place far away for you to hide."  
  
- "Like this, I wouldn't dream of stopping you," he lied perfectly. Lorn knew exactly what he would have to do to bring her back, and for the moment, it meant waiting in the shadows and watching her wreck this miserable town.  
  
* * * *  
  
Hearing the front doors open and thunder crashing down, Astasia snapped up her head from the table she was serving. All night, her work had been shaky and slow, and her boss' eyes wouldn't leave her. He would have fired her by now if there were other women in Oculna who could handle themselves in his bar, but she was the only one.  
  
Now, after hours of unbearable paranoia, what she was afraid of had finally stepped in.  
  
Through that door walked in the woman from the other night, the one with the long scar across her cheek and her attire soaked in rain. Celena was her name. Astasia had no doubt that she was the murderer everyone was talking about. It only took a second for their eyes to lock. A cold rush ran down Astasia's spine, for this wasn't the same innocent-faced-girl who simply wanted a glass of water last night.  
  
The waitress glanced over at the barkeeper behind the counter. He carried the same worried eyes as Astasia. With a simple gesture of the head, he acknowledged the fact that this newcomer wasn't welcomed here tonight.  
  
With much caution, she made her way towards the entrance where Celena stood, almost wanting everyone to see her.  
  
- "I'm sorry miss," Astasia managed to say, only with her courage caught in her throat, "but I must ask you to leave."  
  
- "Why is that?" A smirk came over her face as drops of water flowed down her scarred cheek.  
  
By mistake, the young waitress blurted out, "You are not welcomed tonight."  
  
- "Oh?" Celena smirked with much glee.  
  
All the costumers in the tavern were much too occupied in their own little bubbles of ale and conversations to notice the spectacle before them. None of them even took account that a life had suddenly slipped away right before their eyes.  
  
It came so fast that the pain in Astasia's chest came moments after the blow. Celena's dagger pierced into her heart, painfully preventing each beat from coming with much ease. She stood so close to her victim that there was barely any room to breathe. The blood seeped from the waitress' breast and flowed along the blade, drenching Celena's hand with nothing but crimson.  
  
Now, with nothing left but an empty body, she collapsed to the ground, knocking over a table surrounded with old thugs. The glasses of ale shattered over her face, destroying whatever beauty she still had left after years of abuse and hopelessness in Oculna.  
  
- "ASTASIA!" shouted out the bartender, the only one who had the faintest idea of what was presenting itself.  
  
The nearest men, whom had their ale spilled to the floor, glanced down at lifeless corpse. For a split second they were completely stunned by the girl who lay before them. Oculna hadn't seen much death in her time, for the outcasts were the only ones living in her cold arms.  
  
Celena glanced at one of them, noticing that he used to be an Asturian knight, possibly exiled by shame. It wouldn't surprise her! He was facing an opponent, one ready to snap his head clear off of his neck, but he could only quiver in his boots before taking a fighting stance for defence or attack. She easily threw him aside, knocking him cold into the hard walls near the doors. She glanced down at him with disgust. "You're blood is not worth my time."  
  
This was power! Absolute control and power. She was the one that placed all of those scared faces upon the anonymous quitters. It was not much, but it was a start, and enough to make her beg for more. This was what she was born to do.  
  
Everyone, near and far, looked as if their very deaths had come upon them. Some seemed more than willing to fight, but still felt the chill run down their spines. Celena could feel Dilandau's pleasure swell up inside of her, feeding at her hunger for a sense of belonging. He was burning and screaming as his very conscious seemed to take over her will and body.  
  
«None of you will leave this town tonight.» His voice was so strong in her head, and she obeyed without questioning.  
  
A tall man jumped at her from behind grabbing at her shoulder and trying to trip her forward. Celena fell hard on her back. A long curved sword came peaking before her face, but was easily avoided as she rolled over. The man was left wide open. Her dagger drew out from behind her cloak and gouged it's way into the side of his neck. He wailed and cried out as the crimson life drained out of him at a quickened pace. No one, not even the greatest healer could close his slashed open arteries.  
  
- "This will be fun!" She whispered to herself, as well as Dilandau in the back of her mind.  
  
«What do you think you're doing?» Came about a voice the both of them knew.  
  
Celena spun around frantically, searching for the very man that she didn't want to see. He was nowhere in sight among the countless customers. "Where are you Folken?"  
  
«Right here!» The voice seemed to seep from every corner of the room. It came from everywhere in whispers and echos.  
  
- "COME ON OUT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "COME OUT AND FACE ME."  
  
Not a single man in the room had an idea of what was happening to her. Perhaps it was their chance to escape, but could they even risk it? At a moment such as this, there are only two choices you must face; to stay and hope that all turns well, or take a leap and decide that this would be the moment that could save your life.  
  
One girl standing in the back couldn't take it anymore. The redhead refused to stand by and wait for this mad woman to take them one by one. She quietly opened the back door and slid between the thin crevasse. Another had seen her, and another. Soon, a small line of shivering men and women slid by right under the murderer's nose as she was much too busy with her tantrums. Most anyone would have noticed, for the pit-pat of rain falling heavily against the stone steps outside grew louder.  
  
«Why are you doing this to yourself? Both of you?»  
  
- "I grow tired of your words. It is my life, mine to do as I please," she answered with much pride.  
  
«This isn't your life, Celena. It's Dilandau's! You are living within his shadow.»  
  
- "Quiet! Don't patronize me," she replied, this time with a bit less authority in her voice. He was reaching her, because she knew that what he said was the truth. It was painful to bear, but she had to endure, because her life had been taken away.  
  
«If you refuse to listen to me, than perhaps she will show you the way.»  
  
Folken was about to bring back that little girl, the one that haunted the both of them so. Her words were more powerful than anyone else's and her presence was intoxicating, a true poison filled with guilt and revenge.  
  
But that song... the one she would never let go...  
  
«She's all alone She will die She will never see the sky When the new moon takes the old They will fade her to uphold No one knows her No one sees You won't even hear her scream »  
  
Her mind was on the brink of breaking, and so was his. That little girl would be the end of them. Celena began to once again lose sight of her surroundings. If she hadn't, perhaps the distraction of everyone leaving would have brought her to common sense. She felt as though she had begun to fall once again, deeper and deeper into regret and torture.  
  
Celena just wanted to rest, to put everything at ease.  
  
A pair of hands placed themselves on her shoulders, holding them tight in their grip. It was her only point of focus.  
  
- "Be silent," came a voice from above her, "be still."  
  
Lorn looked down at her trembling body and wrapped his arms protectively around her. He closed his eyes and let her sob into his brown apparel. It was peace that he could give her.  
  
- "NO!" Celena screamed, pushing herself away from him. Her eyes were filled with pure rage, not even that plead of help in sight. "Fight me!"  
  
Lorn just glanced at her placidly.  
  
- "Fight me! You have to."  
  
He did not move.  
  
Celena threw him out of the door and he landed hard on the paved streets with a large splash of water. The rain drops beamed harshly against his skin and almost blinded half of his sight. She walked out onto the sidewalk, ignoring the sting of the shower.  
  
Lorn managed to stand up on his feet, but was only kicked harshly in the stomach and again against the cheek. His nose cracked under the blow and began to bleed once more. His cloak felt heavy around his neck and shoulders as the absorbed water weighed down on his body. With much difficulty, he discarded it and tried to get back up.  
  
- "What's the matter Lorn?" Celena asked punching him in the chest. "Where has the fighting spirit of a sorcerer gone?"  
  
Her foot came crashing down to his face, but he managed to avoid it by rolling against his side. Just as she was about send another kick to his chest, he caught her foot between both hands and pulled her down to the ground.  
  
- "I know what you want Celena," he replied standing up.  
  
She flipped to her feet and began to attack him faster and harder than before. "You couldn't possibly know what I want."  
  
He blocked her punches and kicks, only to be hit a few times. "I do, and I won't do it. I won't let you get out of this the easy way."  
  
- "YOU HAVE TO," she screamed, her eyes suddenly shifting in ambience. The traces of red that overflowed in her eyes seemed to disappear into her oceans.  
  
Her eyes pierced at him, twisting his heart in pity and sympathy. Now, she was there. Celena's despair and remorse was much more powerful than the grip Dilandau held on her. Without knowing it, she had pushed him back inside of her mind, putting at rest his need for perdition. Now, she stared back at him with plead, a demand for help.  
  
- "How can you not?" At this point, Lorn wasn't sure if she was crying, or if the rain was falling even faster. "You don't know what true evil is." She fell to her knees gripping at her shoulders. "You don't know what it's like to become it and live in it."  
  
Her heart was beating so much faster in her chest, so fast that it made her soul twist and churn. May this night be over soon and she with it.  
  
Lorn knelt down to her side, holding her inside of what could be comfort. Her cheek was pressed tightly against his chest. At this time, he knew for sure that she was crying everything she had. "Just do it! Please," she stuttered through the words, "just kill me."  
  
- "I refuse to let you go so easily," his voice deepened and his body shifted under her warmth.  
  
Celena looked up at Lorn's face. Her breath was caught inside of her throat. Folken stared down at her with all of his mysterious features. It was all a lie! Lorn never existed, for he was only a face Lord Folken had took to get close to her. Though this did not anger her. She didn't want to hit him or curse his name... because in a strange way, she didn't feel so alone anymore.  
  
- "Celena, it's time for you to leave."  
  
- "What?" she didn't understand what he was trying to tell her. The shock was still over taking all of her senses.  
  
His eyes seemed to shine through the darkness of the night and of her sorrow. "It's time to leave Oculna as well as the torment you place upon yourself. You have a life to live."  
  
Folken helped her stand up as they both began to walk away from the horrible town where the outcasts decide to waste the rest of their lives. Celena was not going to disappear into the worthless pessimism of this town. Folken wanted to see her grow into the woman she was meant to be.  
  
Silence fell upon them both as only the sound of thunder crashed over their heads. 


	6. The Hermit

AN : This is what I like to call a transitional chapter, meaning that not much happens, it's really a chapter for the relationship between Celena and Folken. The Hermit is there because it means a time of search and reflection. Even if it might be a slow and boring chapter, it is one of the pivotal points to the developments to the characters. Enjoy!  
  
White Bridge - chapter VI *The Hermit*  
  
The road was rough, causing the chariot to jitter every once in a while. The bumps would surely wreck the wheels if this kept up, but the driver didn't seem to care. In a way, Celena couldn't really feel them. Her mind was too distraught and tired to notice much. She barely slept throughout the starry quiet night, and now, the sun was beginning to wake.  
  
Her sense of hearing did not comprehend the horse neighing or the wagon shaking. However, her mind would not stop screaming. Celena could not understand who was screaming and for what reason, but it was haunting her.  
  
A single clear tear streamed from her eye and down her cheek.  
  
It felt cold!  
  
Her mind fell out of her trance and the world became her reality once again. She felt goose bumps cover and shiver her skin. The air was cooler now that the road lead even more to the north. She clasped her cloak tightly around her shoulders and brought her knees closer to her chest.  
  
The hay underneath tickled her back, causing her to toss and turn. There was no cold in the hay, it kept her warm, so she decided to snuggle into it as much as possible. It chased away some of her fears, making her feel as if Allen's warm arms were around her and keeping her close. She didn't even know how she was to accomplish peace of mind.  
  
- "Are you all right back there, little lady," called out the driver.  
  
Celena refused to answer.  
  
- "Hello? Miss? Is everything okay?"  
  
The old man was slightly worried about his passenger. She seemed extremely quiet and nervous when she first asked. Normally, he didn't take hitchhikers, especially further than Oculna, but she just carried a sense to leave that poor worn out woman on the edge of Asturia. Whatever reasons she had to run away were none of his concern. He didn't care if she was a fugitive or not.  
  
The driver pulled the reigns to stop the horse and drew back the red quilt on his lap. It was a little hard to step down from his seat, on a count of his old crooked back. He managed to slip out a cane from where his feet should have been and began to slightly limp his way to the back of his chariot.  
  
She was still there. That frightened and cold woman shivered beneath her cape. His heart overflowed with pity.  
  
- "Why don't you come up and sit with me at the front?"  
  
Celena gently turned her head towards his white scruffy bearded face and looked into his eyes, filled with uncertainty.  
  
- "Don't worry! I won't hurt you. What could I possibly do if I need a cane to help me limp?" Het let out jokingly with a small chuckle.  
  
She looked back at him and whispered, "But I am not worthy of such kindness."  
  
- "Oh come now! Everybody in this world needs a bit of kindness. That's the problem with people today; Nobody wants to help each other."  
  
Celena couldn't help but let out a barely noticeable smile at his words. She would remember them easily, being they were the first good piece of advice she had ever heard. "I thank you!" And with that, she hopped off the edge of the wagon and straightened out her knee high dress.  
  
The old man began to lead the way towards the front of his vehicle. He suddenly collapsed, unable to hold himself up much longer. Celena took no hesitation in straightening him up again.  
  
- "I am becoming far too old for these long trips," he mocked continuing his way to the front of the chariot. "The road isn't a place for someone like me anymore. I should be resting at home in a bed with a cup of tea at my side. Most people ask why I don't. I's simple really! How else can I earn some money? I don't have enough to live on my own and I have no family to take care of me."  
  
- "I'm sorry," she added looking down at her feet as she helped him take a seat.  
  
- "Oh, no need to be. My name is Gunnar Gershom. What might yours be?"  
  
- "Celena," her voice whispered, sitting down beside him.  
  
- "No last name?"  
  
She shook her head lightly knowing that revealing she was a Schezar would cause some problems as well as give Allen a hint of her whereabouts. The old man spread his red quilt over both of their laps and signaled his horse to keep on moving.  
  
- "Well Celena, you don't seem as one who enjoys the company of conversation."  
  
- "Please, I'm tired," she answered with the same dreary half-opened  
  
- "Then sleep, or at least try to. I shall bother you no more." Her eyes slowly drooped her eyes to a close as the hypnotizing sound of crickets singing still ran in her ears.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ __  
  
It was dark and cold that night in Asturia. A night that spun so much out of control, and up in the sky was the one man who would make sure that everything would be so.  
  
- "Found him!"  
  
A red guymelef graced down from the sky, a black cape billowing in the wind, and landed in the alley of the slumbering city.  
  
- "VAN!"  
  
Metal claws thrashed at Escaflowne, but only hit houses as the magnificent melef dodged every single strike. His blood was boiling with anger, like lava. The young kind had to die. The hatred in his fast pulsing heart ordered and demanded it. This time, it had to be over.  
  
The red giant shot out more liquid metal, forming a curved sword at the hand Escaflowne grabbed his sword as well, taking a stance to fight for his life. He blocked the first blow perfectly, standing firmly on his ground, but the opponent would not give up. Tentacles attacked out of his other hand, but Van dodged just in time, leaving the houses behind and the people inside to be wrecked to pieces.  
  
He couldn't help but give off his haunting laugh as he couldn't remember how much fun it was to be on the hunt alone.  
  
It was time for the main event. Flames spewed out, howling the wooden buildings into its wave of death. They chased Escaflowne the whole way, but just didn't seem to catch him in time. Van hid into another alleyway, knowing he couldn't avoid the flames much longer, but the red giant wouldn't let him go that easily.  
  
- "Wait for me Van," he spoke as he ran down after his prey.  
  
Another blow was performed the second they met face to face. The Kind of Fanelia blocked each as best he could and threw the other into the walls of the buildings. In his quick reflex, the hunter shot out more fire, only to burn more lives around their battle.  
  
- "Yes! BUUUUUUUUUURN!" He screamed, getting excited at the sight of those beautiful destructive flames. He threw more and more, randomly to any house he could reach. Smoke leaked out from on top and ashes began to wisp in the air.  
  
- "The city's burning," cried out Hitomi, watching all of the inhabitants run away, coughing from the smoke.  
  
- "You can't get away this time," the murderer let out in a chilling voice.  
  
- "STOP IT! We can't fight here," ordered Van, thinking of all the innocent lives.  
  
- "Too bad! The city's burning because of you, and my cheek is throbbing because of you. Van, you're getting exactly what you deserve."  
  
He shot out more tentacles, aiming straight for the pilot's chamber. Suddenly, Escaflowne jumped up into the air and shifted itself into a dragon. As it flew away, all the hunter could think about was bringing him back down to taste his steal.  
  
- "Dilandau," Allen called out.  
  
«Dilandau?»  
  
- "If you do any more damage to this city, you'll answer to me."  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ __  
  
Celena took in a huge gasp of air, feeling as if her lungs have been still the whole time she was asleep. It was only a dream. Another nightmare of what she did in the rage of Dilandau. How many people died in the fire that swept everything? Perhaps hundreds. Then again, she did not want to know. The thought of it was hard enough in her heavy heart.  
  
After a few moments of her reflection upon her crimes, Celena took a glance around her. The wagon had stopped and Gunnar was no longer sitting beside her. In fact, she was lying down on her side, the red quilt wrapped around her shoulders to keep her warm. A pair of voices mumbled behind her, she recognized one.  
  
- "I didn't know you had a grand-daughter, Gunnar."  
  
- "I don't. I found her hear the fields of Oculna on the edge of Asturia."  
  
- "But you never pick up hitch-hikers ever since you're been robbed."  
  
- "I know, but she was so cold and lost. I couldn't bring myself to leave her on the edge of the road. I don't know where she's going, but I told her this was my last stop."  
  
- "The poor woman. She's very pretty. Would you mind if I took her home and made her my wife?" The voice asked with anticipation. - "You will have to ask her, Tado. However, she's not much of a talker."  
  
- "I have been in need of a wife for so long. My two children need a mother, not a father who spends all of this time cultivating."  
  
- "Well, them it is up to you to ask her or not," answered Gunnar as he pulled down a barrier behind his wagon. "Look into her and you will see so many things at once."  
  
Tador gently crept up to the front of the chariot, a small layer of snow crunching under his boots, and peeked over the seat. He had to see her again. She was so ravishing and breathtaking, surely a wonderful woman that could provide for a family with two growing children. It was possible! However, he had yet to look into her eyes.  
  
He took one more step as he peered around the corner. She was awake. He suddenly blushed and looked down, wondering if she had heard everything he said to Gunnar. The mysterious woman simply looked down to ensure that she wouldn't fall. That step down was always tricky.  
  
In the small moment their eyes crossed, Tador didn't see what he expected. He saw the knowledge of a grown woman, but as well as a confused little girl. She seemed to always be crying inside, even if her light blue eyes were dry. A huge wave of pity crashed into him as he watched her gently pet the brown horse covered in reigns.  
  
- "Ah, you are awake," voiced Gunnar as he walked towards Celena.  
  
She gently turned around her head as if whipping it would break her neck.  
  
- "It gets very cold from this point and further north. I thought that maybe you would enjoy to have something a bit more warm than that small cape on your shoulders." He handed her a long light blue-hooded cloak and delicately placed it in her arms. "The merchant on the road who sold it to me didn't have anything in aqua, so I thought maybe you'd settle for second best."  
  
Celena had never known such an act of kindness from a simple stranger. In a way, this old man could show even the most hopeless soul that some things in this world can be beautiful. "Thank you!" She whispered.  
  
- "It is but a simple deed and I am glad you have accepted it." Gunnar suddenly turned towards the young man behind him and lightly patted him on the shoulder. "Young Tador here has offered us a meal. I do hope that you will accept his offer."  
  
Celena hadn't noticed wether she was hungry or not. She hadn't eaten in days, only received a small meal at the bar. Yet, her stomach did not yearn for something to fill in the void. She softly shook her head as her eyes once again traveled to the ground.  
  
- "Than at least let me give you some supplies for your long journey."  
  
At this, a nod came out, her sight never wanting to meet with his face.  
  
* * * *  
  
Tador's house seemed more like a shack than anything else. It was closed by four walls with a bed in one corner and a fireplace in the other. Even though it was obvious that this was nowhere near a fitting place for anyone, she still as if the house was a place where he enjoyed to be. It wasn't about what he had, it was about how he treasured it.  
  
- "Myra, Kellon, please come down. We have guests," Tador called out towards the roof of the house.  
  
Celena glanced up and was surprised to find a second floor that only covered half of the space. Small strands of hay stuck out of the cracks between the wooden boards. She could hear someone rolling in the hay and struggling to get towards the ledge. Two small heads peeked out over and laid eyes on the two strangers that had just entered their house.  
  
A young boy stepped over the ladder first gently looked down to where he was placing his foot. A huge call of light brown hair whiffed around with each time. His small stubby hands gripped firmly the wooden steps. Myra followed only a few steps above.  
  
- "Celena, Gunnar, I would like you to meet my two children. Myra is three years old and Kellon is four."  
  
Myra gently walked towards Celena, holding tightly a worn out doll in her arms. She looked up with the most innocent green eyes and said something that caught Celena completely off guard, "Are you my new mommy?"  
  
The young lady knelt down to Myra's eyes level, "I'm sorry!"  
  
The little girl looked down to her feet with a sad look of disappointment. It broke Celena's heart to see that look in the girl's eyes. A small tear streamed out of the corner of the child's eye, a tiny crystal blue tear. Myra's head gently peaked up, "Than can you be until you leave?"  
  
Celena captured little Myra in her arms and tightly squeezed her against her chest. Myra nestled her face in the crevasse of the woman's neck, finally feeling a bit of comfort from a mother.  
  
* * * *  
  
- "Do you know what that was?"  
  
- "I don't understand," Celena kept on walking further up north, once again running away from others.  
  
She couldn't stand to be around such innocent people. Myra wanted her to be a mother and Tador a wife. It was impossible to her to give them what they needed. As soon as she held her new bag of supplies and their sights were elsewhere, she slipped away without a sound not wanting to destroy the love they had in their lives.  
  
- "With Myra, it's to be wanted, to be vulnerable, and letting someone in," replied Folken staring blankly at his arm of flesh, one filled with wiring and metal articulations in the past. "You have to learn that. This quest you seek can't be sought alone. You will need someone, and I will never be that person."  
  
- "Why can't you? You're the only one I can trust. The only one who told me the truth," she let out, falling into the snow, her knees sinking under her weight. "I want you to help me."  
  
He leaned down and gave her a look of pure penitence. "You have no idea how many times I wish I could have stopped those sorcerers and freed you in time." He ran a gentle finger across her scar. "I thought that my conscience would bear it, but I could just feel myself screaming every time Dilandau was before me. I was young and foolish." His thoughts snapped to the day Allen asked of Dilandau's identity, and how he lied to try and conceal his pain, a way of comforting himself.  
  
- "It wasn't your fault," she replied reaching out of his hand, using her other to grasp the cape around her shoulders. "You weren't the one who strapped me down to a cold metal table, or stabbed me with poisonous needles."  
  
- "But I could've stopped those sorcerers. I could have said something," he replied, a strange look of remorse written all over his face. He snatched back his hand, hiding it behind his black cape. "I heard you scream in your cell. I saw you cry and plead for your mother. I knew what they were going to do to you, yet I couldn't bring myself to counteract."  
  
He just had to help her. He had to do everything in his power to change what was his fault. As Lorn, he managed to be closer to her, to understand and see who she was without her memories constantly interfering. Folken felt something deep inside eating him away, destroying what was left of his heart. Even after death, the guilt kept punishing him, never letting him be. Heaven was a warm place for those who realized their mistakes and tried to redeem themselves in the end, but paradise could never heal a person's soul.  
  
In a way it's strange! A soul is the essence of everything, the actuating cause of an individual life, but at the same time, it is the cause of our pains and sufferings. It's what enables us to feel; to love and to hate. Maybe without it we could find some kind of peace in our lives and leave behind our struggles, but we would be dead with nothing but hollowness inside of us.  
  
This simple thought is what Celena and Folken had in common. Their pasts would never let them rest, all because of something hateful, yet wonderful, called a soul.  
  
Folken sat down in front of a large tree trunk as he began to whistle the famous Fanelian tune taught by his mother. Celena crept inside of his arms, just wanting to be alone with the only other spirit in the world who could never misplace her. He set out his long black wings beside her, blocking the cold blistering wind that pinched against her skin. For a moment, he felt alive and a part of the world, not just another angel who could only watch.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
«She's all alone She will die She will never see the sky»  
  
It was her time of sorrow once more, the time in which she cried her heart out for her mother. It was so quiet and dank that the simple thought of being alone frightened her deeper than any horrific sight. This was the moment she knew her new life would begin, only as a child and forever as a monster. The little girl cried and cried, whipping away her tears and grabbing her golden hair, now cut short.  
  
This was where it all began... this nightmare of hers. At that point, everything was dark and cold with only your self to trust in life, not your friends, nor your hope. Only yourself. It was the first thing they taught you.  
  
Celena watched her younger self drown into despair. She was five- years-old with so much ahead of her, only for it all to be taken away.  
  
These dreams of hers never got easier. It was simple pain to enter them. They were the only way for her to see everything she had done in the utmost detail. The memory flashes she received in the day were like a walk in the park compared to this level of torture. They were vague and could be comprehended in various ways, but dreams were precise, never letting her have a string of hope that somehow it was all just and accident.  
  
- "Don't leave me alone," the little girl continued to cry.  
  
- "Hush! There is no use in crying," she answered, a little too coldly towards a child.  
  
- "But I want my mommy," her sobs slowly began to die down.  
  
Celena walked towards the long bars imprisoning them in this hell- hole. Rust shed off of each inch of it, obviously proving the uncomfortable humidity of this place. There was only one guard on duty and he didn't seem to notice her. After all, how many men could it take to watch over a single little girl.  
  
- "What are they going to do to me?"  
  
What could she say? Five-years-old and she would die right there? Even if this poor and frail girl was taken over by despair, there was still that wonderful small hint of hope glinting deeply in her eyes. It couldn't be taken away from her.  
  
- "I can't tell you!"  
  
- "You're one of them aren't you? You're with those mean-men that cut my hair."  
  
- "Please be calm..."  
  
- "JAJUKA!" her scream was deafening and pierced into every corner of the dungeon. "JAJUKA!"  
  
Celena did not jump in surprise at the sudden outburst, not did she move towards the little girl. Her eye-lids gently closed to avoid the sight of herself that way. She did not want to see herself cry anymore. She didn't want to see anyone cry anymore.  
  
- "JAJUKAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
Her eyes opened once more with a large gasp of air.  
  
It was all gone! The sight, the touch, the smell... all of it. Where was she? Could she be in their own mind again? Was he still there, watching her and haunting her with everything he had? By all of Gaea, she willed it not to be so.  
  
- "What is it like to be a prisoner of your own self?" A voice rang somewhere in the distance. It wasn't him though. The voice was softer and frailer than his could ever be.  
  
- "It's torture!" Someone else answered before she could even think. "It's knowing that everything you have ever had is just a dream. You can't do anything about it and all that there is left in the darkness is yourself, your soul not even there to console you."  
  
Dilandau stepped out of the shadows, his grin banished from his face. No cackle followed nor did a witty remark. It almost seems as if he'd been crying for so long. No tear stains clung to his cheeks, but his red garnet orbs seemed tired and weak, signs that he would give out to no one.  
  
His eyes looked up at her, his mouth slightly open as he tried to breathe in, "But as I recall, you know that already."  
  
Celena stepped a little closer to him, feeling his presence surrounding her and creeping into every little crevasse.  
  
«She's all alone She will die She will never see the sky»  
  
- "Is she singing for me?" Celena asked without hesitation.  
  
- "In a way! It couldn't possibly be me now, could it? Do you understand what she says?"  
  
Celena closed her eyes and tried to listen to something beyond the words that would change its song. "I'm dying! Not in a few days, but now, at this very moment."  
  
Dilandau's twisted smile came back on his face with more relief than she had ever seen. "Could be! Riddles have never been meant for me, only the kill. The first time this girl sang it, she was warning you of what was to come, but you ignored her calls and in return, you shall pay with both our lives, not that I mind. Of course, that's only what I think and I'm always right."  
  
Celena stepped a little bit closer, too close for Dilandau's own comfort. He did not want to feel her breath against his cheeks the way he did. "I understand," she gently whispered, barely audible for even him.  
  
A confused glance came across his eyes only to be erased seconds later. "What?"  
  
- "You! You love death so much. You want to taste it so much. Not just in others, but in yourself. You crave it and pray for it every second, even when you were in control. The entire image of becoming a pyromaniac was simply to conceal all of the pain that lurks so deeply inside of you. You've known since the beginning that you don't belong." She was right and she knew it. It was obvious by the way he stood still, every fear he held back frozen in the deep. Dilandau stepped back, drawing his eyes away from hers. The familiar cackle escaped his lips once more, as he realized that it didn't matter if she was right or wrong. "We are dying! Use what little time you have left to remember your most cherished moments instead of trying to figure me out."  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
The wind's strength was quickly growing, a possible death trap for anyone who was outside at the moment. The hunt had been successful. A week's worth of food strung over his shoulder would feed him and his son well. It was only a shame that he hadn't set out earlier in the morning to avoid such a large blizzard.  
  
Just as he was about to turn around and head back to his warm home, the oddest black feather flew right before him, almost threatening to cut his face. As his large blue eyes watched it glide between the snowflakes, he could have sworn that it was showing him something. With his curiosity possibly leading him towards his own death, he followed the strange guide, his feet sinking deeply into the snow as he heaved them in and out.  
  
The wind was too strong, for it was almost impossible to identify the black feather in the commotion of white. It gently settled down on the blinding ground, ignoring the constant gusts blowing it in the opposite direction.  
  
A strange grey shape lay in the snow, barely noticeable under the white blanket. His strong fury hands cleared it out and noticed a lock of silver hair shining brightly against the snow. In instant reflex, he picked up the strange figure, glancing over her snow-white skin and blue lips. Her body barely gave out any heat and her pulse was so slow it would leave her any moment. He wrapped a large blanket of fur over her frozen body and once again began to walk for the long trip home.  
  
Folken glanced down over the scene, praying that he had done the right thing. He wouldn't let her die. She had so much ahead of her and could change the face of war with her insight. After all, even the smallest person could change the fate of a world. He brought back in his wings and disappeared into the sky.  
  
- "I will never let you die, Celena. I know you deserve so much more than what has been placed upon you." 


End file.
